It’s tough to know if you’re in a relationship that’s worth fighting for or if you’re just hanging on out of habit.
To help you figure this out, we’ve gathered some insights from relationship experts to guide you through these tricky questions.
What Makes a Relationship Work?
Dr. Sue Johnson, who developed Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), believes that our emotions are at the heart of how we connect with others.
She says that a healthy relationship should make you feel secure and valued.
If you’re often feeling anxious or disconnected, it might be time to rethink whether this relationship is meeting your emotional needs.
Simple Tip: Ask yourself if you feel emotionally supported. If your relationship makes you feel insecure or unheard, that’s a red flag.
Handling Conflicts and Growth
Imago Relationship Therapy, created by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, focuses on turning conflict into a chance for growth.
They suggest that if you and your partner keep hitting the same problems without finding a way forward, it might mean the relationship isn’t helping you grow.
Simple Tip: Reflect on how you handle disagreements. If conflicts don’t lead to understanding and improvement, it could be a sign that things aren’t progressing.
Questions to Ask Yourself
- Do I Feel Supported? Think about whether your partner makes you feel valued and understood. If not, it could indicate an issue with the emotional connection.
- Am I Growing? Consider if the relationship encourages you to become a better version of yourself. A good relationship should help you grow and feel more fulfilled.
- How Do We Deal with Arguments? Look at how you handle conflicts. A healthy relationship should involve resolving disagreements in a way that brings you closer together.
- Is There Mutual Respect? Ensure that there’s mutual respect in your relationship. Feeling disrespected or undervalued is a major red flag.
- Am I Staying Out of Fear? Think about whether you’re staying in the relationship because you’re afraid of being alone rather than because you truly enjoy being with your partner.
Moving Forward
Making the decision to stay or leave a relationship is never easy. By considering these insights from EFT and Imago Therapy, you can better understand whether your relationship is worth your time and effort.
If you’re unsure, talking to a relationship therapist can provide additional clarity and support.
Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional.
General Practitioner Johannesburg
David Mills Pastoral Counsellor Edgemead
Richard Cole – EFT Relationship Counselling Bristol
