4 Free Tests to Help You Understand Yourself Better
Have you ever wondered why you react a certain way in relationships—why you pull away when things get too close, or feel anxious when someone doesn’t text back? That could be your attachment style talking. Which Attachment Style Are You?
Understanding your attachment style can be a real turning point when it comes to relationships, communication habits, and emotional well-being. It gives you a lens through which to understand your patterns—not to label or limit yourself, but to grow from them.
What Is an Attachment Style?
Attachment styles are the ways we emotionally bond and relate to others, shaped largely by early experiences with caregivers. Most people fall into one of these categories:
- Secure – Comfortable with intimacy and independence.
- Anxious – Craves closeness, often fears abandonment.
- Avoidant – Values independence, may feel overwhelmed by intimacy.
- Disorganised (or Fearful-Avoidant) – A mix of anxious and avoidant traits, often due to unresolved trauma.
These styles don’t just influence romantic relationships—they show up in friendships, work dynamics, and even parenting.
If you’re curious about which one resonates with you, here are four free and credible attachment style tests to help you explore further:
1. The Attachment Style Quiz by Dr. Diane Poole Heller
This quiz is short, insightful, and ideal if you’re new to attachment theory. It helps you quickly identify whether you lean toward secure, avoidant, anxious, or disorganised patterns.
Website: dianepooleheller.com
2. The Attachment Project Test
More in-depth than most, this test offers a detailed breakdown of your attachment style and how it might show up in your adult relationships. It’s a favourite for those seeking clarity and insight.
Website: attachmentproject.com
3. YourPersonality.net Attachment Style Test
If you’re a fan of data and research-backed tools, this one’s for you. It’s longer but offers a more nuanced picture of your attachment behaviours, with scores across multiple dimensions.
Website: yourpersonality.net
4. Simply Psychology Attachment Style Quiz
This quiz is concise and easy to digest, offering a straightforward introduction to the topic. Great for those who want a fast overview without diving too deep—yet.
Website: simplypsychology.org
Why Understanding Your Attachment Style Matters
This isn’t about boxing yourself in—it’s about understanding yourself better. Maybe you’ve always thought your emotional reactions were “just the way you are.” Learning about attachment styles can show you that those responses often have roots in past experiences.
Once you understand where your patterns come from, you can start shifting them. It might take time, and it definitely takes effort—but things can change. Whether that’s through therapy, self-reflection, or just being more aware in your day-to-day interactions, it all adds up. Think of your attachment style as a starting point, not a life sentence.
Want to Dig a Little Deeper?
If avoidant attachment sounds like it might be your thing—or someone close to you—you might want to explore it a bit more. We’ve put together a piece that breaks it down in a simple, relatable way.
Check it out: What Does It Mean to Be Avoidant?
Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional.
Lisa Smith Therapeutic Social Worker & Therapist Lincoln
