Because some days, you just need a soft place to land.
Healing from trauma doesn’t mean you’ll never feel triggered again. Sometimes, the past shows up without warning—in a dream, a smell, a place, a conversation—and suddenly, you’re back there, overwhelmed by emotions you thought you’d buried.
An safety plan is kind of like emotional first aid. A gentle, go-to guide you create for yourself—for the moments when you feel unsteady, disconnected, or vulnerable.
Read this reflection on a trauma dream to see how these moments can shake us—and why having a safety plan matters so much.
What Is an Emotional Safety Plan?
An emotional safety plan is a personalised toolkit designed to help you ground yourself, regulate your emotions, and get through tough moments. It’s not a cure—but it can be a lifeline when trauma resurfaces unexpectedly.
Why You Might Need One
- You experience trauma-related nightmares
- You have emotional flashbacks or dissociation
- You struggle with anxiety, panic, or overwhelm
- You’re healing from a toxic or abusive relationship
- You want to feel more in control when things spiral
How to Build Your Own Emotional Safety Plan
1. Identify Your Triggers (Known & Hidden)
Start by writing down things that tend to unsettle or overwhelm you.
- Certain sounds, smells, or environments?
- Specific people or phrases?
- Situations where you feel powerless or criticised?
Note: You don’t have to avoid all triggers—just knowing them helps you feel more prepared when they arise.
2. Know Your Signs of Distress
What does it look like when you’re struggling?
- Racing thoughts? Shortness of breath?
- Shutting down emotionally? Feeling detached?
- Crying uncontrollably? Feeling like you’re “not here”?
Recognising these signs early helps you act before things escalate.
3. List Your Go-To Grounding Techniques
Include 3–5 strategies that work for you, such as:
- Breathing exercises (e.g., box breathing)
- Naming five things you can see, touch, hear
- Holding an ice cube or using a grounding scent (lavender, peppermint)
- Journaling or voice notes
- Taking a walk barefoot outside
Keep the list somewhere accessible—on your phone, fridge, or journal.
4. Create a Comfort List
Sometimes, you just need to feel safe. Create a comfort list that includes:
- A playlist that soothes or lifts you
- A weighted blanket or soft hoodie
- A warm drink
- A photo that reminds you you’re loved
- Affirmations or mantras like: “I am safe. This feeling will pass.”
5. Define Your Support Circle
Write down the people you trust—even if it’s just one. Include:
- Names & contact numbers
- When to reach out (e.g., “Call Sarah if I wake from a bad dream”)
- A reminder: “I’m allowed to ask for help.”
If you don’t have someone right now, that’s okay. Consider online support groups, forums, or trauma-informed helplines.
6. Have a “Next Step” Plan
Once you feel more grounded, what’s the next gentle step?
- A short walk?
- Listening to a podcast?
- Scheduling a therapy session?
- Doing something creative, like drawing or baking?
Make it simple and manageable.
7. Bonus: Keep a Copy in Multiple Places
Write your plan out and save it:
- In your notes app
- As a printed card in your journal
- As a voice note to yourself
- On a post-it near your bed (for those heavy dreams)
You don’t need to “be strong” all the time. Some days will feel heavier than others—and that doesn’t mean you’re back at square one. It just means you’re human.
A safety plan isn’t about fixing everything. It’s about holding yourself through the storm, even when it catches you off guard.
For more on emotional safety, check out this video: “How to Create Emotional Safety At Home” by Clinical Psychologist,
Karen Anne Hope Andrews.
Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional
Steve Marshall Integrative Counsellor London
