A story about friendship, timing, and finding your way back to yourself.
I’ve had this book for almost seven years — Out of Darkness by Stormie Omartian.
It’s followed me through moves, messes, breakdowns, and fresh starts. I’d spot it now and then, shoved behind other books or forgotten in a box. I’d open it, read a few pages, and put it back. Not because it didn’t speak to me — it did. But I couldn’t face it. I wasn’t ready.
What makes this book mean even more is who gave it to me.
Joel and I go way back — high school days. We always had a bit of a connection, something quietly unspoken. We lost touch for a few years, like people do.
But when we reconnected, it felt like there was a conversation between us that had never really ended. Just paused.
Only, by the time we found each other again, I wasn’t in a good place.
I was surviving, barely. Raising two kids alone. Tired in every possible way. And smiling through it, like I always did. I had grown so used to pretending I was fine that I didn’t know how to be anything else.
Joel saw through that. He didn’t try to fix me or fill the silence with advice. He was just… present. Respectful. Supportive in a way that didn’t need loud declarations. And one day, without explanation, he gave me this book.
A thoughtful and quiet gesture — almost like he was saying, When you’re ready, this will make sense.
But I wasn’t ready then. I didn’t want healing — I wanted saving. I wanted someone to come and take the pain away, to make everything feel normal again.
And, I had to realise that’s not how healing works. It doesn’t arrive when we demand it. It waits for us to surrender.
Now, years later, I picked up the book again. And this time… I felt it. I saw myself in the words. In the darkness, the grief, the shame, the pretending.
Stormie wrote what I had never said out loud — things I had buried so deep, I didn’t even realise they were still hurting me.
And through it all, I kept thinking about Joel. About how he showed up without asking for anything. How he gave me space when I didn’t even know I needed it.
How he reminded me — gently, without needing to say it out loud — that I was still in there somewhere. The real me. The lighter, freer, happier version.
The book didn’t heal me. But it cracked something open. It gave me words for things I’d kept hidden.
And coming from him — someone who knew me before all the chaos, someone who cared enough to see through the chaos — it meant even more.
To Joel, thank you. For seeing me. For handing me something I didn’t know I needed. And for reminding me, without ever saying it directly, that I didn’t have to stay stuck in the dark.
I’m still learning. Still softening. Still letting go of the idea that I have to be strong all the time. But I’m not afraid of the dark anymore.
I’ve learned that the light doesn’t always come in one big breakthrough — sometimes, it arrives in the quietest ways. A sentence. A moment. A book. A friend.
If you’re reading this and feel like you’ve lost your spark… I just want you to know: The light will find you.
And maybe, just maybe, someone’s already placed something in your hands — a book, a message, a memory — and it’s just waiting for you to open it when you’re ready.
Reviewed April 2025. Always consult a professional for individual guidance.
