Our emotions can be messy, confusing, and sometimes even contradictory. But identifying what we’re feeling is the first step toward understanding ourselves, managing stress, and improving our relationships. This guide will help you make sense of your emotions so you can respond to them in a way that actually helps.
Why It’s Important to Identify Your Feelings
Many of us go through the day reacting to emotions without actually recognising them. We might snap at a friend, procrastinate on a task, or suddenly feel exhausted—without realising these behaviours are tied to underlying emotions.
Knowing what you feel helps you:
✔ Improve your emotional well-being
✔ Make better decisions
✔ Communicate more effectively
✔ Avoid emotional burnout
So, how do you figure out why you feel like this?
Step 1: Pause and Check In
The first step is simply noticing your emotions. If you’re feeling off, take a deep breath and ask yourself:
🔹 What am I feeling right now?
🔹 What happened before I started feeling this way?
🔹 Where do I feel it in my body?
Often, we’re so busy pushing through the day that we don’t realise when emotions build up. A quick check-in can reveal a lot.
Step 2: Name the Emotion
Saying “I feel bad” isn’t always helpful. Getting specific makes it easier to deal with. Are you:
Anxious? (Tense, restless, overthinking?)
Frustrated? (Impatient, short-tempered?)
Sad? (Low energy, unmotivated?)
Lonely? (Disconnected, unheard?)
Using a feelings wheel (search online for one!) can help you pinpoint the exact emotion.
Step 3: Identify the Trigger
Emotions don’t appear out of nowhere. Something—big or small—sets them off. Ask yourself:
❓ Did something happen today? (A stressful meeting, a disagreement, a bad night’s sleep?)
❓ Is this a build-up of emotions? (Sometimes, unprocessed feelings from days ago resurface.)
❓ Am I physically or mentally exhausted? (Lack of sleep, hunger, or burnout can mimic emotional distress.)
For example: You might think you’re just annoyed at your partner for not texting back, but deep down, you might actually be feeling insecure or unimportant. Recognising the real emotion makes it easier to address.
Step 4: Recognise How It Feels in Your Body
Sometimes, emotions show up physically before we even realise we’re feeling them.
💓 Anxiety? – Racing heart, tight chest, shaky hands
🔥 Anger? – Clenched jaw, tense shoulders, feeling hot
😞 Sadness? – Heavy chest, lump in throat, low energy
🌀 Overwhelm? – Stomach knots, restlessness, trouble focusing
Your body often knows what you’re feeling before your mind does. Pay attention to these signals.
Step 5: Address Common Emotional Mix-Ups
Sometimes, we mistake one emotion for another. Here are some common confusions:
🚫 “I’m not angry, I’m hurt.” → Anger can be a defence mechanism for emotional pain. If someone lets you down, you may lash out when you’re actually feeling unappreciated.
🚫 “I’m not lazy, I’m overwhelmed.” → When a to-do list feels impossible, we shut down. Procrastination is often a response to stress, not laziness.
🚫 “I’m not okay, and that’s okay.” → You don’t have to justify your feelings. If you feel bad for no clear reason, that’s valid too.
Step 6: What to Do Next
Once you’ve identified your emotions, what’s next?
💬 Express it – Talk to a friend, journal, or even voice-note yourself to process it.
💆♀️ Regulate it – Take a deep breath, go for a walk, or listen to calming music.
📌 Act on it (if needed) – Set a boundary, solve a problem, or allow yourself to just feel it without judgement.
Your emotions are not irrational or dramatic—they’re messages from your mind and body. The more you practise identifying them, the better you’ll become at managing them.
So next time you find yourself wondering, “Why do I feel like this?”—take a moment, check in, and give yourself the understanding you deserve.
Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional.
How to Identify Emotional Triggers
Dynamic Vision – Constantia Village Cape Town
