Tips for friends, partners, and family on being a calm, safe space—without accidentally making things worse.
Not sure what to do when someone you love is having a panic attack? Many people feel helpless in the moment. But knowing how to support someone during a panic attack can help you stay grounded—and actually make a difference.
This guide walks you through what panic attacks are, what to do (and avoid), and how to offer ongoing support without overstepping.
First, understand what a panic attack feels like
Panic attacks are intense. They’re not “just stress” or something you can snap out of. They come with sudden fear, a racing heart, trouble breathing, and sometimes even the feeling that you’re dying.
Learning how to support someone during a panic attack starts with understanding that it’s a real, physical experience—not just a mental one.
How to support someone in the moment
If you’re with someone during an episode, here’s what can help:
- Stay calm. Your tone, body language, and energy matter.
- Offer gentle reassurance. Try: “You’re safe. I’m here with you.”
- Encourage slow breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth—but never force it.
- Ask what they need. Try: “Would it help if I stayed close or gave you space?”
- Use grounding techniques. Help them name things they can see, hear, or feel.
What not to do during a panic attack
Even with good intentions, some common phrases or behaviours can make things harder:
- “Calm down.”
- “You’re fine.”
- “You’re overreacting.”
- Touching them without asking
- Trying to use logic or reason immediately
Panic isn’t rational. Your job isn’t to fix it—it’s to help them ride it out safely.
How to support someone between panic attacks
Ongoing support matters just as much as what happens in the moment. Here’s how to show up consistently:
- Check in. Gently ask how they’re doing without making it a big deal.
- Learn their triggers. Everyone’s are different—some people want to talk, others don’t.
- Encourage professional help. Gently suggest therapy if they’re open to it.
- Respect their boundaries. Support doesn’t mean hovering.”
You don’t have to be perfect. Just be present. Learning how to support someone during a panic attack is about being kind, informed, and calm—even when things feel scary. That in itself can be healing.
How I built myself a panic attack toolkit.
Reviewed April 2025. Always consult a professional for individual guidance.
