I’ve Struggled with Depression for Over 20 Years

This story is from a community member, edited for clarity and to protect privacy

Winston has been dealing with depression for over 20 years now—probably since he was around 17 (he’s 48 now). Growing up, his household was a mess.

His father was an alcoholic and abusive, which left deep scars. Winston craved his father’s attention, but no matter what he did, it was never enough.

There were times when he even wondered if it was his fault that his father was the way he was. He questioned if something was wrong with him, if he was somehow responsible for his father’s anger and drinking.

As a child, Winston turned to food for comfort. He was overweight, and the other kids called him “Flubber.” That nickname hurt more than he can put into words.

It wasn’t just something they said—it was a reminder that he didn’t fit in, that he wasn’t good enough. It crushed any bit of confidence he had and made him feel horrible about himself.

But Winston did manage to lose the weight—not that he turned into some muscle-bound guy, but he got healthier. He worked on himself and made some improvements.

Still, those dark thoughts never really go away. There are days when he feels empty, when the self-hate creeps in, and he looks in the mirror and still sees that child everyone called “Flubber.”

He’s built what you’d call a normal life. He has a regular job and lives a regular life. He even manages to have fun now and then, and sometimes, it feels like he’s got a bit of a life going. But the depression is always there, waiting to pull him down again.

He knows his depression might never fully go away, but he tries to make the most of things, especially for his younger brother. His brother is one of the main reasons he keeps going, even when it’s tough.

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