The following story has been contributed by a community member and may have been modified for clarity and privacy purposes.
Jani always felt a little different. As a kid, her teachers called her “quirky,” and for a while, that felt like a compliment. But as she got older, the same quirks became targets. Making friends was hard, and when she did make connections, they never seemed to stick.
It was like there was an invisible wall between her and everyone else, a divide she couldn’t figure out.
School didn’t help. In primary school, other kids would gang up on her, leaving her feeling more alone than ever. Teachers looked right past it, and she felt stuck, out of place. High school offered some hope, but not for long.
She moved from group to group, searching for her “people” but never quite finding them. Friendships would start off strong and then dissolve over misunderstandings or hurt feelings.
Social media made things even worse. Seeing photos of friends hanging out without her was a constant reminder of her outsider status. Eventually, the rejections and misunderstandings built up, and Jani shut down.
It wasn’t just one or two incidents; this felt like her whole life pattern—one letdown after another.
Things got dark. Really dark. Jani experienced intense meltdowns, shutdowns, and even had thoughts of ending it all. She turned all the blame inward, thinking it was somehow her fault.
Talking about her struggles felt impossible. She worried people would see her anxiety and depression as attention-seeking.
Even after years of therapy, doctors still didn’t understand what was going on. They chalked her struggles up to anxiety and ADHD, which sort of fit but didn’t fully explain her sensitivities, like her intense reaction to loud noises or her inability to get restful sleep.
Medication helped with focus, but it was only when she was finally diagnosed with autism at 17 that things started to make sense.
The diagnosis was a shock, but it also felt like a weight lifting. For the first time, Jani understood why she had always felt different.
She found a community online—people who understood her in ways no one else had. They didn’t see her as “quirky” or “too sensitive.” In this space, she felt seen, understood, and truly accepted.
Jani doesn’t share her story for sympathy. She wants others to know they’re not alone, to avoid the isolation and delayed understanding she went through.
Since her diagnosis, she’s stopped hiding parts of herself she used to be ashamed of. Self-awareness and acceptance have become her strengths.
Her autism diagnosis didn’t box her in—it gave her a sense of belonging and helped her see her own worth in a new light.
Get a better understanding of autism here.
Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional.
Dr Janus Beukes – Orthopaedic Surgeon – Erasmuskloof
Dr Janus Beukes – Orthopedic Surgeon – Erasmuskloof Ext 3
