Compassionate Strategies for Raising Behaviourally Challenging Kids
When Dr. Ross Greene first released The Explosive Child, he admits he was nervous. Would professionals cling to traditional ideas about discipline and behavioural control? Would parents feel judged or misunderstood?
Instead, his groundbreaking book opened up a much-needed conversation—and eventually, a movement—around how we understand and support children who struggle with emotional regulation, outbursts, and what some call “difficult behaviour.”
What is The Explosive Child about?
At its core, The Explosive Child challenges old-school views of discipline. Dr. Greene encourages a shift away from rigid, top-down control toward collaborative problem-solving—a compassionate, skill-building approach that gives kids a voice and helps families work through conflict together.
Rather than labelling children as “manipulative,” “attention-seeking,” or “unmotivated,” Greene invites us to look deeper:
“Kids do well if they can.”
In other words, children want to behave well, but some lack the skills to do so consistently—especially under stress.
Who is this book for?
- Parents of children who are explosive, anxious, or emotionally reactive.
- Teachers and therapists seeking new approaches to behavioural challenges.
- Grandparents and caregivers who want to better understand and support a child in their lives.
- Anyone who feels traditional discipline isn’t working—and is looking for something more effective, and humane.
“Explosive” Doesn’t Mean Dangerous—It Means Struggling
Many parents ask, How do I know if my child is explosive? There’s no diagnosis or blood test for that. As Greene explains, “explosive” is simply a descriptive term for kids who:
- Become frustrated more easily and frequently than their peers
- Express that frustration in intense or extreme ways—such as yelling, hitting, biting, or withdrawing
What’s more, not every child “explodes.” Some implode instead—internalising their emotions with anxiety, shutdowns, or low mood. The Explosive Child addresses both.
Greene uses the term “behaviourally challenging” as a more accurate umbrella term, acknowledging that outward and inward behaviours are both signs of distress, not defiance.
Why traditional labels and punishments fail
In the early chapters, Greene pushes back against common labels—like “lazy,” “oppositional,” or “defiant.” These assumptions not only miss the root of the problem but also damage relationships and trust.
He also cautions against over-reliance on psychiatric diagnoses, explaining that while labels like ADHD, ODD, or anxiety can be helpful, they don’t always tell us how to help.
The collaborative & proactive solutions (CPS) model
At the heart of the book is Greene’s CPS model—a practical framework for solving problems with your child, not for or to them.
The CPS process involves:
- Empathy Step – Understanding your child’s concerns without judgment
- Define Adult Concerns – Clearly communicating your own needs or worries
- Invitation Step – Brainstorming and working together on a solution
This three-step method builds trust, emotional regulation, and problem-solving skills. It’s not about letting kids off the hook—it’s about helping them climb out of the hole.
Why this book still resonates
Decades after its first release, The Explosive Child remains one of the most recommended books for parents and professionals working with kids who don’t respond to typical discipline.
Its ideas are backed by over 40 years of research on emotional development, brain function, and child psychology. And while the model may challenge the way you were raised—or how you were told to raise your children—it offers real, sustainable hope.
A note of encouragement
As Greene writes:
“There’s never been a better time to be living or working with a behaviourally challenging child.”
We now have better tools, better science, and a better understanding. And although changing your parenting approach can feel uncomfortable at first, this book reminds us that the effort is worth it.
Where to find the book
The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross W. Greene
Available at:
- Takealot (South Africa)
- Amazon (paperback, Kindle, audiobook)
- Local libraries and bookstores
- Audible and audiobook platforms
Final thoughts
If you’re exhausted from constant meltdowns, walking on eggshells, or trying everything and getting nowhere—The Explosive Child offers more than just strategies. It offers understanding, connection, and the reminder that you and your child are not broken. You’re just ready for a different path.
Reviewed April 2025. Always consult a professional for individual guidance.
Harris & Ross Manchester- Physiotherapy Manchester
Lauren Ross Speech Therapist Randburg
Dr. Ross Potgieter- Chiropractor Sandton
