Mental Matters

Real Talk

The Best and Worst Mental Health Tips People Received

In a world where everyone has an opinion, it’s important to separate the helpful from the unhelpful. Here, nine people share the advice that made a difference in their mental health journey, as well as the advice that, well, didn’t. Best Advice: 1. “Don’t make decisions when you’re tired.” It’s tempting to tick things off the list, but when you’re exhausted, your judgement isn’t at its best. Giving yourself time to rest can lead to clearer, more thoughtful decisions. 2. “Sit down with your inner child.” This might sound a bit whimsical, but reconnecting with your younger self can be enlightening. It’s about understanding past emotions and offering yourself the compassion you needed back then. 3. “You can’t control the actions of others.” A tough pill to swallow, but a freeing one. Letting go of the need to manage others’ behaviours allows you to focus on your own responses and well-being. 4. “The validation you’re looking for from others is the validation you are refusing to give to yourself.” Seeking approval externally can be a never-ending chase. This advice encourages you to recognise your own worth and give yourself the credit you deserve. 5. “If you need me, I am here.” Sometimes, the simplest words offer the most comfort. Knowing someone is genuinely there for you can make all the difference. Worst Advice: 1. “Just push through it.” While perseverance has its place, ignoring your limits can lead to burnout. It’s okay to pause and take care of yourself. 2. “You need to pray about it.” Faith can be a source of strength for many, but suggesting it as a catch-all solution might overlook the need for practical support or professional help. 3. “Try not to think about it.” If only it were that easy! Suppressing thoughts often makes them louder. Acknowledging and addressing feelings is a healthier approach. 4. “Go walk around the block.” Fresh air is lovely, but it’s not a cure-all. Sometimes, deeper issues require more than a brief stroll to address. Hopefully, these snippets of advice resonate with you, offering comfort or a gentle reminder of what to embrace and what to take with a pinch of salt on your mental health journey. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. General Practitioner Johannesburg Anaesthesiologist Berea Practical Tips for Managing Social Anxiety in Everyday Situations Time Flies When You Have ADHD: Practical Tips for Better Time Management Tips for Effective Journaling

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I’ve Struggled with Depression for Over 20 Years

This story is from a community member, edited for clarity and to protect privacy Winston has been dealing with depression for over 20 years now—probably since he was around 17 (he’s 48 now). Growing up, his household was a mess. His father was an alcoholic and abusive, which left deep scars. Winston craved his father’s attention, but no matter what he did, it was never enough. There were times when he even wondered if it was his fault that his father was the way he was. He questioned if something was wrong with him, if he was somehow responsible for his father’s anger and drinking. As a child, Winston turned to food for comfort. He was overweight, and the other kids called him “Flubber.” That nickname hurt more than he can put into words. It wasn’t just something they said—it was a reminder that he didn’t fit in, that he wasn’t good enough. It crushed any bit of confidence he had and made him feel horrible about himself. But Winston did manage to lose the weight—not that he turned into some muscle-bound guy, but he got healthier. He worked on himself and made some improvements. Still, those dark thoughts never really go away. There are days when he feels empty, when the self-hate creeps in, and he looks in the mirror and still sees that child everyone called “Flubber.” He’s built what you’d call a normal life. He has a regular job and lives a regular life. He even manages to have fun now and then, and sometimes, it feels like he’s got a bit of a life going. But the depression is always there, waiting to pull him down again. He knows his depression might never fully go away, but he tries to make the most of things, especially for his younger brother. His brother is one of the main reasons he keeps going, even when it’s tough. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Dr Geoffrey Christopher Winston George – Psychiatrist – Kenilworth Clinical Depression in Adults What Is the Difference Between Anxiety and Depression? Clinical Psychologist Sandton Working With – Not Against – My Depression

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What Happens When You Start Speaking Kindly to Yourself?

Growing up in a strict home with a housewife mother and a site manager father, my childhood was filled with structure and routine. My dad was not just a manager by day; he was also a prominent figure at church. We spent a lot of time around the older generation there, and while it sometimes felt overwhelming, it’s a part of my upbringing I cherish deeply. One particular auntie stands out in my memory. She had a way of making every encounter feel special. “Come sit, child,” she’d say, her voice soothing and warm. She always wore her hair in a neat bun, secured with bobby pins, and her brown lipstick and the faint scent of pine from her perfume made her presence memorable. It wasn’t just her appearance that left an impression; it was her wisdom. She’d sit us down and share her insights, always emphasising the importance of speaking kindly to ourselves. Here’s why it matters so much to me: 1. It Boosts My Confidence When I tell myself I’m capable and worthy, I feel more confident. Positive self-talk helps me focus on my strengths rather than my weaknesses, giving me a daily dose of encouragement that builds my self-belief. 2. It Helps Me Handle Stress Better Facing challenges with a positive mindset makes them feel less overwhelming. By reassuring myself that I can handle whatever comes my way, I find that stress becomes more manageable. 3. It Builds My Resilience Positive self-talk helps me stay strong during tough times. Rather than letting setbacks knock me down, I use hope and optimism to keep moving forward, even when things get difficult. 4. It Improves My Mood Constant self-criticism can bring me down. Shifting to positive affirmations lifts my spirits and helps me see the good in life. A bit of kindness towards myself can brighten my outlook and change my perspective. 5. It Enhances My Relationships When I’m kind to myself, I often find it easier to be kind to others. Positive self-talk helps me feel better about who I am, which can improve my interactions and relationships with those around me 6. It Encourages My Personal Growth Believing in myself is the first step towards growth. Positive self-talk keeps me motivated and open to new opportunities, supporting my journey towards achieving my goals. Reflecting on the wisdom from my childhood and the lessons learned, I realise that the way we talk to ourselves matters deeply. It shapes our lives and helps us handle both the ordinary and the extraordinary moments. It’s a conversation worth having—one that deserves to be filled with kindness, encouragement, and hope. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Body Boost Clinic Medical center Hull Diagnosing Autism: How and When It’s Done Positive Relationships Counselor Birmingham Positive Steps Physiotherapy Stoke-on-Trent What Panic Attacks Feel Like

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My Parents’ Divorce Inspired Me to Communicate Better in My Marriage

My parents were married for 26 years, and I was just four when they divorced. Apart from the time my mom sat me down to explain that my dad was moving to a new house and that I’d get to visit him, no one really talked about it, and I never bothered to ask. Out of all the kids, it affected me the least. My siblings, however, took it much harder, especially my sister, who had always been my dad’s little princess, while I was his pumpkin. As I got older, I couldn’t help but wonder why my parents had divorced, but no one seemed eager to have those conversations. One day, I finally asked my mom. Her answer caught me off guard: “I just couldn’t keep up with your dad’s career anymore.” That wasn’t the first reason that would’ve come to mind. My dad worked hard, sure, but I also remembered him being there—putting me to bed, flying me around like an aeroplane, dressing up as a superhero for my daddy-daughter tea, and spending Christmases together. Despite his demanding job, he was still very present in my life. But my mom’s words left a lasting impression. They made me realise that sometimes, the reasons behind life’s biggest events are far more complex than they seem. It wasn’t just about being physically present; it was about emotional presence, communication, and understanding each other’s needs. When I entered my own marriage, I carried this lesson with me. I knew that communication had to be a priority if I wanted to avoid the same fate as my parents. Whenever my husband and I faced challenges, I made a conscious effort to talk things through. I’d share my feelings, and listen to his. I didn’t want work, stress, or life’s demands to create distance between us. My parents’ divorce taught me the importance of communication in a relationship. It inspired me to be proactive in my own marriage, to ensure that both my husband and I felt heard, valued, and connected. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Inspire Wellbeing Services Mental health service Chelmsford Chrismarie Moolman Play Therapist Fichardt Park Don’t Be a Pushover (But Don’t Be a Jerk Either!) Dr ST Potgieter Psychologist Bellville Good Relationships (Marriage & Couples Therapy) Bath

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Why My Dog Is the Best Anxiety Relief I Never Expected

This story is from a community member, edited for clarity and to protect privacy Richard had battled anxiety for as long as he could remember, but it really hit him hard in his 30s. The excitement of partying had worn off, and he found himself feeling lost and questioning his life’s direction. So, he reached out to his therapist for some guidance. During one session, his therapist casually suggested, “Why not get a dog? It might give you a sense of purpose.” Richard, being the impulsive type, thought, “Why not?” A week later, he couldn’t contain his excitement and told his therapist, “Guess what—I got a dog!” The shock on her face was almost as surprising as his own excitement. Of all the impulsive decisions Richard had made, getting a dog turned out to be one of the best. The initial days were a breeze, but then Minnie’s true personality started to show. She was surprisingly demanding—she had to have her water bowl in just the right spot and was very particular about her food. Adjusting to these quirks was a bit of a struggle. But as Richard and Minnie spent more time together, he started to see how much she was helping him with his anxiety. Despite her little demands, Minnie brought a huge amount of love and companionship into Richard’s life. Just having her around made him feel less alone and more at ease. Minnie’s needs brought a new sense of routine to Richard’s life. With her feeding schedule, daily walks, and playtime, he found himself getting more organised. This new structure didn’t just help manage his time better—it also gave him more control over his anxiety. The walks with Minnie became a calming ritual. They allowed Richard to step away from life’s stresses and appreciate the simple joys. Watching Minnie’s playful antics reminded him to enjoy the moment and find happiness in the little things. Minnie also helped Richard connect with others. He started chatting with fellow dog owners at the park, something he hadn’t done before. Although Minnie was a bit possessive and preferred Richard’s undivided attention, she had a way of making social interactions easier. Richard soon realised that Minnie seemed to have an uncanny ability to sense when he was anxious. Her presence was comforting, as if she could understand his feelings without him having to say a word. Grateful for the positive impact Minnie had on his life, Richard found that even small moments like petting or cuddling her brought significant relief from stress. Minnie’s companionship helped him through tough times and added joy to his life. If you’re thinking about whether a dog might help with anxiety, Richard hopes his experience encourages you. Opening your heart and home to a pet could be the start of a wonderful journey. Please remember: While a pet can provide comfort, companionship, and support, they are not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Always consult with a healthcare provider for guidance on managing anxiety and mental health concerns. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Brooklyn Family Therapy Centre Pretoria Sandra Terblanche Clinical Psychologist Hospitalpaark Joy Clarke Marriage Counsellor Edgemead Joy Clarke Marriage Counsellor Edgemead Hear Joy – Jenine Pretorius Audiology Benoni

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How The Bear Hit Home with My Own Struggles

“You’re watching the fire and you’re thinking, ‘If I don’t do anything…this place will burn down and all my anxiety will go away with it.’” – Carmy, The Bear, Season 1, Episode 5 (“Sheridan”). This line from The Bear hit me hard. It took me back to a time when I felt utterly overwhelmed, carrying the weight of expectations and responsibilities with no way to set them down. The thought of just letting everything fall apart felt oddly comforting—a strange escape from the relentless pressure. Carmy, played by Jeremy Allen White, faces a similar fire. As a brilliant chef, he’s trapped in the mess left by his late brother. Struggling to keep a failing sandwich shop afloat, he’s burdened not just by the business but by his past, which seems to haunt him relentlessly. Watching Carmy fidget and constantly need to stay busy, I saw a reflection of myself. I used to believe that staying occupied would shield me from facing what was really going on inside. Like Carmy, I felt a constant restlessness, unable to find peace between my responsibilities. No matter how much I gave, it never felt like enough. Carmy’s obsessive work ethic, strained relationships, and emotional shutdowns resonated deeply with me. His struggles with the weight of his past mirrored my own battles with overwhelming pressures. But The Bear isn’t just about running a kitchen or saving a business. It’s about survival through chaos. The episode and that moving line reminded me that even when everything feels like it’s burning down, there’s always something worth fighting for. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Symptoms of a Broken Leg Hitting Your Limit? It Might Be Time for a Break What I Reach for When Panic Hits Heartbreak Hits Hard Nigel Saw Podiatrist Pod Fit Podiatry Findon

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Supporting Teenagers With Mental Health

We all know that adolescence can be a challenging time. Between the pressures of school, social relationships, and figuring out who they are, it’s no wonder that so many teenagers struggle with their mental health. In this article, we want to share some tips and strategies for supporting teenagers with mental health. Whether you’re a parent, a teacher, a friend, or just someone who cares about teenagers, We hope you’ll find these suggestions helpful. So let’s get started! Create an Open and Non-Judgmental Space What does it mean to create a safe space? First and foremost, we need to be open-minded and empathetic. We need to listen to what teens are saying without judgment or criticism. Supporting teenagers wit mental health can be a daunting task but there are ways to do it. We need to validate their feelings, even if we don’t always have the answers. And we need to let them know that we’re here for them, no matter what. Creating a safe and supportive space also means being available and responsive. If a teenager reaches out to us, we need to make ourselves available to them.  That might mean taking a break from our own busy lives to really listen and connect with them. It might mean setting aside our own worries and concerns to focus on theirs. And it might mean being patient and persistent, even when they don’t want to talk at first. Encourage Healthy Habits Our physical and mental health are deeply connected, and taking care of our bodies can have a big impact on how we feel. That’s why it’s so important for us to help teenagers develop healthy habits that support their well-being. So, what are some healthy habits we can encourage? Well, there are a lot of different things we can do, depending on our own lifestyles and interests. Here’s what you can do: Encouraging regular exercise, whether that’s through sports, dance, yoga, or just going for a walk. Encouraging healthy eating habits — cooking meals at home, eating plenty of fruits and vegetables, and avoiding processed foods. Encouraging good sleep habits — sticking to a consistent bedtime, avoiding screens before bed, and creating a relaxing sleep environment. Encouraging stress-reducing activities — meditation, journaling, or spending time in nature. Know the Signs As parents, educators, and caregivers, it’s our responsibility to be aware of the warning signs of mental health issues in teenagers, so we can intervene early and provide the support they need. Some common signs to look out for: Of course, it’s important to remember that everyone is different, and not every teenager who is struggling with their mental health will show the same signs. But by being aware of the warning signs and taking them seriously, we can help ensure that teenagers get the help they need. So, what should you do if you notice these signs in a teenager? First and foremost, it’s important to talk to them about what they’re going through and to let them know that you’re there for them. It’s also a good idea to connect them with a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who can provide additional support and guidance. Seek Professional Help While it’s great to have supportive friends and family members, sometimes teenagers need more specialized care to address their mental health issues. So, what should you do if you think a teenager in your life could benefit from professional help? Here are a few steps to take: Foster Connection As social creatures, we all need to feel connected to others, and this is especially true for teenagers who are navigating a complex and challenging time in their lives. Here’s how we can foster connection: Remember, supporting teenagers’ mental health is a team effort. It takes parents, caregivers, educators, family, and friends all working together to create a culture of understanding, compassion, and support.  So let’s do our part to break down the stigma around mental health, and encourage teenagers to prioritise their well-being and seek help when they need it. For additional material, we can encourage them to do a 30-day Mental Health Challenge Can People with Autism Live Independently? Sharon Steyn Counselling | Educational Psychologist Somerset West A Happy Place Counsellor Pretoria A Happy Place Child Teenager and Family counselor Die Wilgers Youth Neuro Coach – Anxiety Recovery

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PTSD In Children Explained

A child’s innocence is a precious thing. Unfortunately, not all children get to preserve it. Some kids face traumatic experiences like abuse, neglect, or accidents, which can leave a deep mark on their mental health. That mark, known as PTSD, is a condition that plagues not only adults but children too. PTSD can affect a child’s daily life and leave them struggling to cope with their symptoms. It’s crucial to understand the causes and how we can help them. In this article, we’ll dive into PTSD in children. Exploring its causes, symptoms, and available treatments. What is PTSD in children? PTSD in children can develop after exposure to any type of trauma, including physical or sexual abuse, neglect, natural disasters, accidents, or violence. As a result, PTSD symptoms significantly impacts their daily life. The Symptoms Although these symptoms may be challenging for children to manage, early intervention and appropriate care can help treat PTSD. The Causes There are various factors that can contribute to the causes. Including the severity and duration of the trauma, the age of the child at the time of the trauma, and the child’s support system. Children who experience severe or repeated trauma may be more likely to develop PTSD. And younger children may be more vulnerable to the effects of trauma. Other factors that can increase the risk of PTSD in children include a family history of mental illness, a lack of support from caregivers, and a pre-existing mental health condition. Additionally, a child who experienced multiple traumatic events or who has a history of prior trauma may also be at higher risk for developing PTSD. The Treatment The treatment for PTSD in children often involves a combination of therapy and medication. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT) has been shown to be effective. TF-CBT is a type of therapy that helps children process their trauma and develop coping skills to manage their symptoms. Other types of therapy used to treat PTSD in children include play therapy, art therapy, and eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR). In some cases, medication may be used to manage symptoms of PTSD in children, such as anxiety or depression. However, it’s important to note that medication should always be used in conjunction with therapy and under the supervision of a qualified mental health professional. Final thoughts PTSD in is a serious mental health condition that can have significant long-term effects on a child’s well-being. It’s essential to recognise the signs and symptoms and seek help from a qualified mental health professional if you suspect your child may be struggling with the condition. With early intervention and appropriate care, children with PTSD can learn to manage their symptoms and go on to lead healthy, happy lives. If you have any concerns about your child’s mental health, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. If you are in need of a therapist for your child, this is a list of therapists in your area. Was It Me, or Him? Lessons Learned After a Short Relationship Understanding Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Understanding Narcissistic Abuse Counselling Psychologist Johannesburg Common Myths About PTSD

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Why A Social Media Break Is Good For You

In today’s digital age, it’s no secret that social media has become an integral part of our daily lives. We rely on it to connect with friends, family, and stay informed on current events. In addition, to build our personal and professional networks. However, with the constant barrage of information, notifications, and scrolling, it’s no wonder that many of us are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and burnt out. Why is a social media break good for you? It can be a powerful tool for improving our mental and emotional well-being. In this blog post, we’ll explore the benefits of a social media break, and why it might be time to unplug and recharge. However, if you are looking for additional reading material on the effects of social media on your mental health, give this article a read. Why A Social Media Break Is Good For You Reduces anxiety and stress Social media can often be a source of negative news and information, which can increase anxiety and stress levels. By taking a break from social media, you can limit your exposure to this negativity, which can help you feel calm and relaxed. Increases productivity Social media can be a significant distraction. It can lead to decreased productivity at work or in other areas of your life. By taking a break from social media, you can free up more time and mental energy to focus on important tasks and goals. Improves sleep quality The blue light emitted by screens can interfere with your body’s natural sleep-wake cycle, making it harder to fall asleep at night. By disconnecting from the digital world, you can limit your exposure to screens and improve your sleep quality. Encourages face-to-face interactions While social media can be a great tool to help us stay connected, it can also lead to less face-to-face interaction. Breaking away from social media for a while allows you to prioritise spending time with the ones you love. This can, in turn, improve your overall social connections and well-being outside of social media. When looking at a report by, We Are Social and Hootsuite, the average person spends about 2 hours and 24 minutes per day on social media? This equates to roughly one-third of their total online time. While there are positives to social media we can appreciate, there are many things to do instead of scrolling through social media. By finding other activities that you enjoy, you can help reduce your dependence on social media and improve your overall well-being. Remember, taking a break from social media doesn’t mean you have to cut it out of your life completely. It’s all about finding balance and taking care of yourself mentally and physically. You’re Not A Loser, Social Media Just Sucks Meyersdal Chiropractic Clinic Alberton Practical Tips for Managing Social Anxiety in Everyday Situations The Reality Check: How Social Media Affects How We Feel Hitting Your Limit? It Might Be Time for a Break

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Common Myths About PTSD

Trauma can happen to anyone, and the effects can be long-lasting and deeply impactful. Unfortunately, many people who experience Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) face a unique set of challenges because of the myths and misconceptions that surround the condition. In this blog post, we’ll explore some common myths about PTSD that can prevent people from getting the help they need. Myth #1: Only soldiers can get PTSD While it is true that soldiers are at a higher risk of developing PTSD, anyone who has experienced or witnessed a traumatic event can develop the condition. This includes survivors of sexual assault, natural disasters, car accidents, and other types of trauma. Myth #2: People with PTSD are weak or cowardly PTSD has nothing to do with strength or bravery. It is a mental health condition that can affect anyone who has been exposed to trauma. People with PTSD are not weak or cowardly; they are simply struggling with the aftermath of a traumatic experience. Myth #3: PTSD is rare PTSD is actually quite common, affecting approximately 7-8% of the world’s population at some point in their lives. While it is more prevalent among certain groups, like soldiers and survivors of sexual assault, anyone can develop the condition. Myth #4: PTSD is a sign of mental illness PTSD is a mental health condition, but it is not a sign of mental illness. It is a normal response to an abnormal situation. People with PTSD are not crazy or mentally ill; they are simply struggling to cope with the aftermath of a traumatic event. Myth #6: PTSD is always immediately apparent Symptoms of PTSD may not appear until weeks, months, or even years after the traumatic event. Some people may experience symptoms immediately after the event, while others may not experience any symptoms until much later. Myth #7: People with PTSD are dangerous People with PTSD are not inherently dangerous. While some may struggle with anger, aggression, or substance abuse, these behaviours are not universal among people with PTSD. In fact, people with PTSD are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators. We need to break down the stigmas and myths surrounding PTSD and create a culture of openness and understanding. We need to support those who have experienced trauma and work towards providing accessible and effective treatments. It’s time to recognise that PTSD can affect anyone, anywhere, and that seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. If you or someone you know is struggling with PTSD, know that you are not alone, and there is hope for recovery. With the right support and treatment, people with PTSD can lead fulfilling and meaningful lives. What Are the Myths and What’s the Truth About ADHD? Misconceptions About Depression The Hypnotherapist Johannesburg Edenburg Causes of Cavernous Sinus Thrombosis PTSD In Children Explained

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