How to Build Your Own Emotional Safety Plan
Because some days, you just need a soft place to land. Healing from trauma doesn’t mean you’ll never feel triggered again. Sometimes, the past shows up without warning—in a dream, a smell, a place, a conversation—and suddenly, you’re back there, overwhelmed by emotions you thought you’d buried. An safety plan is kind of like emotional first aid. A gentle, go-to guide you create for yourself—for the moments when you feel unsteady, disconnected, or vulnerable. Read this reflection on a trauma dream to see how these moments can shake us—and why having a safety plan matters so much. What Is an Emotional Safety Plan? An emotional safety plan is a personalised toolkit designed to help you ground yourself, regulate your emotions, and get through tough moments. It’s not a cure—but it can be a lifeline when trauma resurfaces unexpectedly. Why You Might Need One How to Build Your Own Emotional Safety Plan 1. Identify Your Triggers (Known & Hidden) Start by writing down things that tend to unsettle or overwhelm you. Note: You don’t have to avoid all triggers—just knowing them helps you feel more prepared when they arise. 2. Know Your Signs of Distress What does it look like when you’re struggling? Recognising these signs early helps you act before things escalate. 3. List Your Go-To Grounding Techniques Include 3–5 strategies that work for you, such as: Keep the list somewhere accessible—on your phone, fridge, or journal. 4. Create a Comfort List Sometimes, you just need to feel safe. Create a comfort list that includes: 5. Define Your Support Circle Write down the people you trust—even if it’s just one. Include: If you don’t have someone right now, that’s okay. Consider online support groups, forums, or trauma-informed helplines. 6. Have a “Next Step” Plan Once you feel more grounded, what’s the next gentle step? Make it simple and manageable. 7. Bonus: Keep a Copy in Multiple Places Write your plan out and save it: You don’t need to “be strong” all the time. Some days will feel heavier than others—and that doesn’t mean you’re back at square one. It just means you’re human. A safety plan isn’t about fixing everything. It’s about holding yourself through the storm, even when it catches you off guard. For more on emotional safety, check out this video: “How to Create Emotional Safety At Home” by Clinical Psychologist, Karen Anne Hope Andrews. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional The Bristol Therapist Bristol Steve Marshall Integrative Counsellor London Boshoff Physiotherapy Pretoria The Hip and Knee Surgeons – Claremont