Did you know, a 2022 U-Report South Africa poll found that 73% of children and young people felt they needed mental health support?
And the World Health Organisation estimates that 1 in 5 children and adolescents in the world are struggling with their mental health. Therefore, talking to our kids about mental health cannot be stressed enough.
As adults, we play an important role in helping kids understand their emotions, and handle stress. Talking to them about mental health at an early age can help them to develop healthy coping skills and build resilience.
So, how can we, as parents, caregivers, and educators, start talking to our kids about mental health in a way that they can understand?
1. Start with Age-Appropriate Conversations
What’s appropriate for a 5-year-old is very different from what’s appropriate for a 15-year-old. Use language and concepts that are tailored to your child’s age and developmental level. And check in with them throughout the conversation to see how they’re feeling.
For example, if you’re talking to a young child, you might start by talking about how everyone feels different emotions sometimes. Help them identify and label their emotions, such as happy, sad, angry, and scared. Explain that it’s okay to feel all sorts of emotions, and that there are healthy ways to cope with them.
If you’re talking to an older child, you might discuss more specific mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression. Talk about the symptoms of these conditions, how they can affect people’s lives, and the importance of seeking help if needed.
Here are some specific examples of age-appropriate topics and conversations:
- Ages 3-5: Talk about basic emotions, such as happy, sad, angry, and scared. Help them identify and label their emotions, and explain that it’s okay to feel all sorts of emotions.
- Ages 6-8: Talk about more complex emotions, such as jealousy, frustration, and disappointment. Help your child develop healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with difficult emotions.
- Ages 9-12: Introduce the concept of mental health and talk about some common mental health conditions, such as anxiety and depression. Explain that it’s okay to ask for help if you’re struggling with your mental health.
- Ages 13-18: Talk about more specific mental health topics, such as self-esteem, relationships, and stress management. Encourage your child to seek professional help if they need it.
2. Be a Good Listener
When your child talks to you about their mental health, really listen to what they have to say. Don’t judge them, offer solutions, or fix their problems. Just listen and offer your support.
For example, if they say, “I’m feeling really anxious about my upcoming test,” you could say something like, “So it sounds like you’re feeling anxious about your test. Is that right?” This shows them that you’re paying attention and that you understand what they’re going through.
3. Use Everyday Opportunities
Mental health topics can come up in everyday life. If you’re watching a movie or reading a book together, talk about the emotions the characters are experiencing. Or, if your child is struggling with something, talk about how you’ve dealt with similar challenges in your own life.
Using everyday opportunities to talk about mental health can help to normalize the conversation and make it feel less scary for your child.
4. Encourage Help-Seeking Behaviour
Let your child know that it’s okay to ask for help when it comes to their mental health. You can compile a list of resources, books, and tools they could use. More importantly, encourage them to speak to a trusted adult or a professional.
You could tell your child that if they’re ever feeling overwhelmed or like they can’t cope, they can always come to you for help. And you can also give them the phone number of a trusted adult or a mental health professional.
It’s important to emphasise that asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, it is courageous.
5. Educate Yourself About Mental Health
The more you know about mental health, the better equipped you’ll be to talk to your kids about it. There are many resources available to help you learn more about mental health conditions, such as books, podcasts, websites, and online courses.
Educating yourself about mental health will help you to understand what your child is going through and to provide them with the support they need.
6. Share Your Own Experiences
If you have struggled with your own mental health in the past, talk to your kids about it. Share your story in an honest and age-appropriate way. This will help your kids understand that they are not alone, and that it is okay to ask for help.
Here is an example of how you could share your own experience with them:
“When I was your age, I used to get really anxious about tests. I would feel so nervous and worried that I couldn’t sleep the night before. But over time, I learned some coping skills that helped me to manage my anxiety. I want to teach you those coping skills so that you can manage your anxiety too.”
Sharing your own experiences can help to build trust and communication with your child. It can also help them to feel more comfortable talking to you about their own mental health.
Creating a safe and supportive space for your child to talk about their mental health is one of the best things you can do for them. It can help them to feel understood, supported, and less alone.
Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional.
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