This story was shared by a member of our community and has been edited for clarity and to protect privacy.
Growing up in the 1960s, *Melinda (name changed to protect privacy) came from a strict upbringing. Her father was often away due to work. And her mother had to look after five children, as well as her nieces and nephews.
It created a chaotic household where they constantly divided their attention and spread their resources thin.
There was constant conflict between the kids. Not because of resentment toward their cousins, but because there was always a sense of missing out. Their mother would remind them that money had to be saved for everyone, so sometimes they couldn’t get what they wanted.
Christmases were especially hard—sometimes they would have to share gifts, and on particularly lean years, they wouldn’t receive any presents at all.
Her father was a cold man, always focused on practicalities. “I put food on the table and a roof over your head“, was something he often said. While it was his way of showing care, it never quite felt like enough.
But even with his stern attitude, he had his soft moments too, though they were rare and often overshadowed by the strain of providing for so many.
Her mother, on the other hand, worked tirelessly to maintain a sense of normalcy. Her mother made sure meals were on the table by 6 p.m., ironed and neatly laid out her father’s clothes, and packed his food with care.
But no matter how much effort her mother put in, the feeling of scarcity—whether material or emotional—was ever-present.
When Melinda turned 20, she moved away from home and got married, hoping for a fresh start. But her husband’s family didn’t like her from the start.
They had wanted him to marry someone from their church. A woman they thought was more appropriate.
Their disapproval was palpable, and it only added to the doubts she already had about herself.
Throughout her life, Melinda had always felt conflicted—wondering if she was doing enough or being enough, whether at work or in relationships.
The way her husband’s family treated her only reinforced the idea that she didn’t measure up. She tried her best to prove herself to them, but no matter what she did, it was never good enough.
Her marriage lasted just six months. It took marrying him, and enduring the pressure from his family, for her to realise that she had made a mistake.
She didn’t feel like she was enough for him, or for them, and it only confirmed the doubts she had carried since childhood.
Her father’s voice often echoed in her mind: “Just be happy with what you have.” But this sentiment never quite sat right with her.
To her, it always felt like a subtle way of saying, “Don’t expect more. Don’t dream bigger.”
The truth was, she wanted more. She wanted more fulfilment, more love, more recognition. But for years, she held back, weighed down by the belief that asking for more meant she was being ungrateful.
It wasn’t until much later in life that she began to let go of that mindset. She realised that being happy with what you have doesn’t mean settling for less than you deserve.
It means finding contentment within yourself, no matter how your past tried to limit you.
She no longer blames herself for her short marriage or for not fitting into her husband’s family’s ideal.
She has stopped trying to earn her worth in the eyes of others and made the conscious choice to stop being a volunteer victim to her circumstances.
Melinda has taken control, rejecting the voices that once told her she wasn’t enough. Now, she actively learns to value herself more, instead of trying to prove herself to others.
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