An email popped into my inbox: “Ladies lunch – who’s in?” A big smile spread across my face.
YES PLEASE!
It had been ages since I’d caught up with the girls, and this was just what I needed – some girl time and a chance to unwind over coffee (extra shot, please!).
I looked forward to catching up and laughing with the girls.
But then, my familiar anxiety chimed in, quickly turning my excitement into worry. “What if they don’t like you anymore?”. “Will you be able to keep up with their conversations? Will this lunch be as awkward as the last one?”
Anxiety and I have been in a complicated relationship for as long as I can remember.
Some days, it feels like my closest friend, helping and guiding me through situations with a heightened sense of awareness. Other days, it’s more of an intruder, disrupting my peace and making me question just about everything.
As the lunch date approached, the usual preparations began. I meticulously planned my outfit, rehearsed possible conversations in my head, and even mapped out my route to the café.
This is the helpful side of anxiety – the part that ensures I’m prepared, punctual, and presentable. It’s the side that helps me remember to check for traffic updates and pack an umbrella just in case.
However, there’s also the downside.
The night before the lunch, I found myself wide awake, replaying every possible awkward scenario. “What if I spill my drink? What if I say something stupid?” My heart raced as these thoughts spiraled, turning my initial excitement into dread.
But I tried not to get caught up in them. Instead, I reminded myself of the positive – maybe this lunch would be a chance to hear about my friend’s new job and the latest gossip.
With my carefully planned outfit, practiced conversation starters, and a few deep breaths, I headed to the café.
While there were a few moments of initial awkwardness (aren’t there always?), the lunch turned out to be great. We laughed, shared stories, and even made plans for our next get-together. It was a reminder that even with anxiety, positive experiences are still possible.
My anxiety and me, we will probably never be best friends. But it’s a part of who I am. It keeps me aware, keeps me striving, and, in its own twisted way, shows me how much I care about the people and moments that matter.
So while my relationship with anxiety may be complicated, it’s one I’ve come to respect. And in some ways, even appreciate.
Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional.
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