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Healing: 5 Books Worth Reading

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Healing isn’t easy. If it were, we’d all bounce back from heartbreak, loss, or pain without any struggle. The truth is, healing is a pretty tough journey with lots of ups and downs along the way. It takes time, patience, and a good bit of self-reflection. But even though it’s hard, there’s a chance to grow and learn. Books that speak to our experiences can be a wonderful source of comfort and support. They remind us that we’re not alone and that healing isn’t just about getting better—it’s about becoming a stronger, more authentic version of ourselves. Five books to read on your healing journey: 1. “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brené Brown Why it’s worth reading: This book digs into why it’s okay—and actually freeing—to let go of perfectionism and embrace vulnerability. Moreover, Brené Brown shares her research and personal insights about self-acceptance and the courage to be imperfect, which is especially powerful for people who feel pressured to meet others’ standards. Brown’s advice on practicing self-compassion and setting boundaries makes this a guide for anyone needing a boost in self-confidence and authenticity. 2. “Untamed” by Glennon Doyle Why it’s worth reading: Doyle’s story is a powerful reminder that you don’t need to fit into anyone else’s expectations. She shares her journey of leaving behind a “perfect” life, listening to her inner voice, and finding the courage to embrace her true self. Her honesty is refreshing, and she tackles the messiness of real growth without sugarcoating it. Untamed shows that life gets better when you stop asking for permission to live on your own terms. 3. “You Are a Badass” by Jen Sincero Why it’s worth reading: Sincero’s tone is fun and no-nonsense, making her advice about self-belief and motivation easy to digest. She breaks down common mental blocks and self-sabotaging habits, encouraging readers to get out of their comfort zones and chase their dreams unapologetically. It’s full of real, practical steps and relatable stories, which make it an inspiring read if you’re ready to start taking control and building a life you love. 4. “Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie This classic is a must-read for anyone who feels caught in codependent or controlling relationships. In it, Beattie shares valuable insights into the cycles of over-giving, people-pleasing, and losing yourself to others’ needs. Her advice on how to set healthy boundaries and re-center your life on what you truly need is invaluable for those wanting to regain their independence and inner strength. Beattie’s compassionate voice makes this especially comforting for readers who feel like they’re not alone in their struggles. 5. “Women Who Run With the Wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estés Why it’s worth reading: Using timeless myths and stories, Estés dives into the deep, instinctual wisdom within every person, especially women. She explains that reclaiming our “wild” self—our true, instinctive nature—is key to breaking free from limiting beliefs or situations. Her storytelling approach and use of archetypes help you reconnect with your intuition, courage, and the parts of you that might feel suppressed or neglected. It’s empowering for anyone wanting to reconnect with their inner strength and individuality. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform and does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The information on this site is for general awareness and support. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Nicholas William Bayley Psychotherapist Reading Mental Health Books Worth Reading Growing Space – Counselling Worthing Beach House Chiropractic Worthing Christine Boyd Psychotherapists Reading

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How to Stay in Control When Someone’s Pushing Your Buttons

Explainers, Resources /

Sometimes, in conversations or conflicts, you might find yourself facing someone who seems more interested in dominating or controlling the conversation than truly understanding you. Certain people have a way of turning discussions into power struggles. Leading clinical psychologist and expert on narcissism, Dr. Ramani Durvasula highlights a simple yet powerful communication strategy (the deep technique) for dealing with difficult people. “Defend, engage, explain, personalise – don’t go deep. They will try to pull you into the madness.” The Problem with Trying to Explain Yourself When someone challenges you, it’s natural to want to explain yourself. You might feel the need to defend your actions or share your side of the story. But sometimes, the person isn’t interested in hearing you out—they just want to control the conversation or make you feel wrong. When you try to explain or defend, you’re giving them more to argue with. Instead of clearing things up, you end up feeling stuck in a back-and-forth that goes nowhere. Dr. Ramani’s advice reminds us that stepping back can often be the best move. Why Saying “OK” Can Save You a Lot of Stress Dr. Ramani suggests a simple and powerful response: just say “OK.” It sounds almost too easy, but it works. When you respond with “OK”, you aren’t engaging in a debate or giving the other person more fuel to keep the argument going. You’re keeping things neutral, which prevents them from dragging you into a deeper, more emotional conversation. Saying “OK” is a way of stopping the argument in its tracks. You’re not agreeing or disagreeing; you’re just choosing not to engage. This response takes the wind out of their sails because they’re often looking for a reaction from you. When you don’t give them one, the conversation can’t escalate. Say Less, Stay Calm In situations where someone is trying to take control of the conversation, less is more. The less you say, the fewer chances they have to twist your words or lead you down a path you don’t want to go. You protect yourself from getting emotionally drained by refusing to dive deep into explanations or justifications. Instead of going into long explanations, keep your responses short: These responses acknowledge the person without letting them control the conversation. By staying neutral and not diving into details, you’re setting boundaries and protecting your peace of mind. How Short Responses Protect Your Peace Dr. Ramani’s approach is all about self-protection. By keeping things brief and neutral, you protect yourself from getting pulled into emotional manipulation. The other person may be trying to confuse or dominate you, but your calm, short responses show that you’re not playing their game. When they don’t get the emotional reaction they want, it takes away their power. They want to get under your skin, but your controlled responses help you stay grounded and in control. In the end, saying less actually gives you more control over the situation. The next time you find yourself in a conversation that feels like it’s heading toward chaos, remember: don’t defend, don’t engage in a lengthy explanation, and don’t get personal. Saying less really is more powerful, and sometimes, the strongest response is the one that keeps you calm, clear, and in control. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Durban Marriage & Couples Counselling Counselor Musgrave 8 Reminders That Pulled Me Through My Worst Days Working Conversations Group – Psychological Therapies Liverpool Why Does Being Mentally Exhausted Feel Like The New Normal? Mr. Matthew Button Vascular Surgeon Brighton

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How to Handle Being Stuck in the Middle Without Losing Your Mind

Family, Relationships, Resources /

If you ever find yourself in a situation, where you’re stuck in the middle of someone else’s relationship, it can be hard to know what to do. Here are a few helpful steps you can take to protect your own emotional wellbeing while offering support: 1. Acknowledge Your Limits It’s important to realise that you can’t fix their relationship. While it’s natural to want to help, relationships are complex, and ultimately, it’s up to the two people involved to work things out. 2. Set Boundaries It’s okay to say, “I care about both of you, but I can’t continue being in the middle.” Establishing this boundary lets them know you’re not abandoning them—you’re just respecting your own needs. Make it clear that while you’re there to support them individually, you can’t be their mediator. 3. Encourage Communication Sometimes, people need a reminder to communicate with each other rather than vent to others. You can gently suggest that they talk to each other directly and openly about their feelings. This might encourage them to work through their issues together instead of using you as the go-between. 4. Practice Self-Care It’s draining to be pulled into someone else’s relationship drama. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself, whether that’s through relaxation, spending time with people who lift you up, or simply stepping away when it becomes overwhelming. 5. Recommend Outside Support If the situation becomes too much for them to handle alone, encourage them to seek professional guidance. A relationship or marriage counsellor can help them work through their issues in a neutral, supportive environment. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Are We Losing Something with Online Therapy? I Lost Myself Trying to Make Others Happy Why Setting Boundaries Matters How to Handle a Panic Attack: What Helps and What Doesn’t

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I’m Trying to Work on My Ghosting Habit

Real Talk, Relationships, Resources /

I once asked a friend why he ghosted me, and his answer was simply, “I don’t know.” That was it. No elaborate reason—just an honest, “I don’t know.” It made me stop and reflect because I’ve ghosted more people than I’d like to admit. And most of the time, I didn’t know why either. Why Do We Ghost? For me, ghosting has become almost second nature. I’ve ghosted friends, family, and even my partner. And each time, I justified it with excuses like, “I’m too busy,” “I’ll reply later,” or “I’m just not in the mood.” But if I’m honest, it was more about avoiding discomfort than anything else. After asking others and reflecting on my behaviour, I realised that many of us ghost because it’s easier than facing our feelings. Maybe we’re overwhelmed, anxious, or just don’t know how to handle a situation. It’s a quick escape from awkwardness, but it’s far from harmless. It’s easy to think ghosting has no real consequences—out of sight, out of mind, right? But when I started listening to those on the receiving end, I realised how hurtful it can be. One person shared, “It’s depressing, because you don’t know what’s going on or why. You’re left wondering if you did something wrong.” Another said, “I find it awkward. It takes me a few days to adjust, especially if it’s someone I thought I was close to.” Then there’s the middle ground. As someone put it, “It really depends—if it’s someone I’m not close to, I don’t take it seriously. But when it’s someone I care about, it feels different.” I realised that my ghosting wasn’t just about needing space—it left people confused, hurt, and questioning themselves. And that’s not the kind of impact I want to have. How I’m Working on My Ghosting Habit Ghosting has often been a way for me to avoid vulnerability. It’s easier to disappear than to say, “I’m struggling right now,” or “I’m not sure how I feel.” Here’s what I’m trying: It’s not just about avoiding awkward conversations; it’s about being willing to show up for the people who matter. It’s about being brave enough to say, “I’m struggling,” or “I need a minute,” instead of just disappearing. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Diagnosing Autism: How and When It’s Done Cardiff Hypnotherapy Solutions Cardiff 5 Questions I Asked Myself When I Was Unsure About My Relationship Some Better Answers to Try Instead of “I’m Fine” Why Do We Say “I’m Fine” When We’re Actually Not?

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Fear Is a Lot Like Cutting into an Avocado

Real Talk, Resources /

They say, “The only way to get over a fear is to face it head-on”—but let’s be real, who actually wants to do that? For a long time, my approach to fear was, well… not exactly courageous. I avoided it, ignored it, and pretty much hoped that if I kept a safe distance, my anxieties would eventually get bored and leave me alone. They didn’t. Instead, they stuck around, patiently waiting for the perfect moment to pop back up—usually when I least expected it. I thought I could outsmart them. I mean, I’ve made some progress—which I have to give myself credit for. Take dogs, for example. There was a time when I was absolutely terrified of them. Not the big, intimidating ones, though—oh no, it was the little ones that made me nervous. The ones that act like your ankles are their personal chew toys. Now? I’ve got two dogs running around my house, bringing equal parts chaos and joy. It’s funny how the things we fear can become the things we love, once we stop running away from them. Then there’s parenting—don’t even get me started. The thought of juggling school projects, bedtime routines, and the whole ‘keeping a tiny human alive and thriving’ thing? I was scared shitless. Somehow, though, I figured it out. And I’m still figuring it out as we go along—it gets me emotional just thinking about how quickly time has flown by. I try to tackle parenting with love, patience, time, and a whole lot of humour. Because honestly, if you’re not laughing at the chaos, you’re probably crying, and sometimes both happen at the same time. Lately, I’ve started thinking about fear a little differently. It’s kind of like… an avocado. Stay with me here. You know that moment when you pick up an avocado at the store, and you have no idea what you’re getting into? It could be rock-hard and useless, or maybe it’s perfectly ripe and ready to go. Sometimes it looks great on the outside, but when you finally slice it open, it’s a mushy mess. Fear kind of feels like that to me. It’s wrapped up in layers, hiding what’s really going on inside. Then, you cut into it. The tough outer skin is tricky, but not impossible to get through. And once you do, you hit the creamy, soft inside—what you’ve been looking for. But then there’s the pit, this giant, stubborn thing in the middle. It’s solid and annoying, and no matter how many times you’ve dealt with it before, it still takes a little effort to work around. Fear is just like that avocado pit. At first, it seems like this unbreakable thing sitting in the way. But the more you deal with it, the easier it gets. Here’s the thing about both avocados and fear: they’re never quite as bad as they seem once you start dealing with them. You don’t have to have all the answers, and you don’t need to tackle everything at once. Just take it one step at a time—slice through the skin, work around the pit, and before you know it, you’re on the other side. So, next time you’re staring down a fear, think of it like an avocado. It might seem messy and unpredictable, but with a little patience, you can handle it. And who knows? You might just find something good inside once you get through the tough parts. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Symptoms of Cuts Treatment of Cuts How to Handle a Panic Attack: What Helps and What Doesn’t Causes of Cuts Complications and Recovery from Cuts

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Recognising the Warning Signs and Symptoms of Suicide

Depressed, Explainers, Resources, Sadness /

It’s not always easy to tell if someone you care about is struggling, but being aware of certain signs can help you reach out and offer support. Here’s what you might notice: 1. Emotional Signs 2. Behavioural Signs 3. Physical Signs 4. What to Do If you spot these signs in someone you care about, it’s important to reach out. Let them know you’re there for them and encourage them to speak with a mental health professional. Early support can make a big difference. 5. Need Immediate Help? If you think they’re in immediate danger, don’t hesitate to contact emergency services or a crisis hotline. In South Africa, you can call: There’s help available, and reaching out can provide the support they need. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Recognising the Symptoms of Acute Pancreatitis The “Should I Be Worried?” Feeling: Depression Warning Signs Suicide Prevention Support How to Support Someone Who Might Be Thinking About Suicide What Suicide Prevention Month Means for Us All

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We Put 10 Mental Health Apps to the Test

Books & Apps, Resources /

Pros, Cons, and Rankings In the digital age, mental health apps offer convenient and accessible ways to manage our mental well-being. With so many options available, it can be challenging to find the right one. We’ve tested ten popular mental health apps to see how they stack up. Here’s our breakdown, including their pros, cons, and overall rankings based on user feedback, reviews, and downloads. 1. Headspace Aimed at beginners and experienced users alike, Headspace offers a straightforward approach to meditation and mindfulness, making it easy to find moments of calm in your day. Pros: Cons: Ranking: 4.5/5 2. Calm Calm provides a soothing experience with its comprehensive range of features, including meditation, sleep stories, and breathing exercises, ideal for those seeking a calming presence. Pros: Cons: Ranking: 4.4/5 3. BetterHelp BetterHelp connects you with licensed therapists for convenient online therapy, whether through text, voice, or video, offering a flexible and confidential approach to mental health support. Pros: Cons: Ranking: 4.3/5 4. Moodfit Moodfit helps you track your mood and set personal goals, offering a range of tools to support your mental health journey with useful features even in its free version. Pros: Cons: Ranking: 4.2/5 5. Insight Timer Insight Timer provides a vast library of free meditations and relaxation practices, connecting you with a global community of meditators for a diverse meditation experience. Pros: Cons: Ranking: 4.2/5 6. Sanvello Sanvello uses evidence-based CBT techniques to help manage anxiety and depression, offering mood tracking and coping tools in a user-friendly app. Pros: Cons: Ranking: 4.1/5 7. MyTherapy MyTherapy helps you manage and track your medication, offering additional tools for mood tracking and health monitoring, with reminders to keep you on track. Pros: Cons: Ranking: 4.0/5 8. Talkspace Talkspace offers flexible communication with licensed therapists via text, voice, or video, providing secure and private therapy sessions tailored to your needs. Pros: Cons: Ranking: 4.0/5 9. Happify Happify makes mental health fun with games and activities based on positive psychology, designed to boost your mood and overall well-being interactively. Pros: Cons: Ranking: 3.9/5 10. Woebot Woebot offers AI-based support with a chatbot providing CBT techniques, available 24/7 for quick support through engaging and interactive conversations. Pros: Cons: Ranking: 3.8/5 Each app offers unique features and benefits, so choosing the right one depends on your personal needs and preferences. Whether you’re looking for meditation, professional therapy, or mood tracking, these apps can be valuable tools for supporting your mental health journey. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Smiling Mind: Free Guided Meditations for the Whole Family Academic Advisor Kempton Park Insight Timer App: Better Sleep, Focus, and Mental Health ADHD Tools, Books & Apps for Daily Life Pro Sports Medicine Physiotherapist Cardiff

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Why Setting Boundaries Matters

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Ever feel like you’re stretched too thin, constantly saying yes when you want to say no? That’s where boundaries come in. Think of them as invisible lines that define what feels right for you and how you’d like to be treated. Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about making sure you don’t lose yourself in the process of trying to please everyone else. What Boundaries Can Do for You Once you start setting boundaries, you’ll likely notice some pretty awesome changes in your life: Remember, It’s Not Selfish Setting boundaries isn’t about being selfish. It’s about looking after yourself so you can show up as your best self for the things and people that truly matter. When you’re clear on your limits, you protect your energy, your time, and your mental well-being. And that’s something everyone benefits from. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. How to Handle Being Stuck in the Middle Without Losing Your Mind Cape Flats Development Association 5 Boundary Rd Body Boost Clinic Medical center Hull Can Your Counsellor Also Be Your Mentor? Don’t Be a Pushover (But Don’t Be a Jerk Either!)

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Some Better Answers to Try Instead of “I’m Fine”

Feelings & Behaviours, Resources /

We all have our go-to answers, like “I’m fine.” It’s easy, familiar, and keeps things simple. But sometimes, those two words are doing a lot of heavy lifting, hiding more than we care to admit. Here are a few alternatives to “I’m fine” that can help you be more honest without diving into a full-on therapy session: 1. “I’m managing, thanks for asking.” This phrase is a gentle way to say things might not be perfect, but you’re handling it. It’s a bit more truthful than “I’m fine” but still keeps things positive. 2. “I’ve had better days.” If you’re feeling a bit off but don’t want to get into the details, this is a good middle ground. It’s a simple way to let someone know things aren’t great, without making a big deal out of it. 3. “I’m a bit overwhelmed right now.” This one’s for when life feels like a lot. It lets the other person know you’re struggling a bit, without going too deep. If they’re up for it, it could lead to a more supportive conversation. 4. “I’m working through some stuff.” Sometimes, you’re dealing with things but don’t really want to talk about them. This response is honest and gives you space, while still acknowledging that something’s going on. 5. “I’m doing okay, how about you?” This is a bit of a deflection, but in a way that shows you’re open to talking—just not about yourself. It’s a good option if you’d rather focus on someone else’s day. 6. “It’s been a rough day, but I’m hanging in there.” Admitting you’re having a tough time, but also showing that you’re pushing through, can make for a more meaningful exchange. It says you’re being real, but not defeated. 7. “I’m having a tough time, but I appreciate you asking.” This one’s all about gratitude. You’re being honest about your struggles but also letting the other person know their concern means a lot to you. 8. “I’m feeling a bit off today.” If you’re not quite feeling yourself but don’t want to elaborate, this is a gentle way to let someone know. It’s straightforward, yet subtle enough to avoid any pressure to explain further. 9. “I’m here, trying to get through it.” For those days when you’re just getting by, this phrase is honest without being too heavy. It’s a way to say, “I’m dealing with stuff, but I’m still standing.” 10. “Not the best day, but I’m getting by.” This one strikes a balance between being truthful and staying positive. It lets someone know things aren’t ideal, but you’re managing. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. I’m Not Just a Victim of My Past Healing Hands Alternative Therapy Clinic Newcastle Dr Gary Michael Fine – Specialist Psychiatrist – Parktown What My Relationship Taught Me About the Struggles of Being Understood

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Does Journaling Actually Help?

Explainers, Resources /

We often hear that journaling is a good habit, but does it really do anything? The truth is, journaling isn’t just about putting pen to paper. It’s a way to check in with yourself—something that can be surprisingly powerful. Here’s why it might be worth giving it a try: 1. Gain Insight into Yourself Journaling can reveal things about yourself that you might not notice in the rush of everyday life. When you write down your thoughts and feelings, you start to connect the dots. It’s not always immediate, but over time, you may see patterns that help you understand what’s really going on inside. 2. Relieve Stress in a Practical Way Life gets heavy sometimes, and journaling can be a way to lighten the load. There’s something about seeing your worries in front of you that makes them feel more manageable. It’s not about finding solutions right away—it’s about giving yourself the space to breathe. 3. Shift Your Perspective Writing about the good things—big or small—can change how you see your life. When you focus on the positives, you start to notice them more in your day-to-day. It’s not about pretending everything is perfect; it’s about balancing the tough moments with a bit of gratitude. 4. Stay on Track with Your Goals Journaling isn’t just about reflection; it’s also a way to keep yourself moving forward. Writing down your goals and checking in on your progress can help you stay motivated. It’s a reminder of where you’re headed, especially when things get tough. You don’t need to journal every day, and there’s no right or wrong way to do it. Just start when you feel the need. It’s a small habit that can make a meaningful difference in how you see yourself and your world. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Nigel Saw Podiatrist Pod Fit Podiatry Findon Cardiff Hypnotherapy Solutions Cardiff Janice Partridge Arts Therapies Muizenberg Start Journaling with These Simple, Feel-Good Prompts Tips for Effective Journaling

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