Mental Matters

Sadness

How to Support Someone Who Might Be Thinking About Suicide

Community, Depressed, Explainers, Sadness /

Supporting a friend or loved one who might be having suicidal thoughts can be challenging, but your support can mean a lot. Here’s how you can help: 1. Start a Conversation Reach out with care. You might say something like, “I’ve noticed you’ve been having a hard time. I’m here if you want to talk about it.” Showing concern and opening up a space for them to share can be comforting. 2. Listen Without Judgment When they talk, listen carefully. Avoid jumping in with solutions or advice right away. Sometimes, just listening and saying, “That sounds really tough. I’m here for you,” can provide a lot of comfort. 3. Suggest Professional Help Gently suggest talking to a mental health professional. Offer to help find resources or make an appointment. Let them know there are people who can help them through this. 4. Keep in Touch Check in regularly, even if they seem distant. Your ongoing presence can remind them that they’re not alone and that you care. 5. Offer Practical Help Help out with daily tasks that might feel overwhelming. Things like doing their weekly washing, or getting them out of the house can make a big difference and show that you’re there to support them. 6. Look After Yourself Supporting someone in crisis can be tough. Make sure you’re also taking care of your own mental health. It’s okay to set boundaries and seek support if you need it. 7. Know When to Seek Immediate Help If you believe they’re in immediate danger, contact emergency services or a crisis line. Quick action can help them get the urgent support they need. 8. Be Patient Recovery can take time. Keep offering your support with patience and understanding, and remember that progress might be gradual. 9. Immediate Resources For urgent help, contact: There’s support available, and you don’t have to face this alone. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. East Team Forward Thinking Birmingham Getting Urgent Help for Mental Health in South Africa Suicide Prevention Support Recognising the Warning Signs and Symptoms of Suicide What Suicide Prevention Month Means for Us All(

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Recognising the Warning Signs and Symptoms of Suicide

Depressed, Explainers, Resources, Sadness /

It’s not always easy to tell if someone you care about is struggling, but being aware of certain signs can help you reach out and offer support. Here’s what you might notice: 1. Emotional Signs 2. Behavioural Signs 3. Physical Signs 4. What to Do If you spot these signs in someone you care about, it’s important to reach out. Let them know you’re there for them and encourage them to speak with a mental health professional. Early support can make a big difference. 5. Need Immediate Help? If you think they’re in immediate danger, don’t hesitate to contact emergency services or a crisis hotline. In South Africa, you can call: There’s help available, and reaching out can provide the support they need. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Recognising the Symptoms of Acute Pancreatitis The “Should I Be Worried?” Feeling: Depression Warning Signs Suicide Prevention Support How to Support Someone Who Might Be Thinking About Suicide What Suicide Prevention Month Means for Us All

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The Day I Lost My Grandfather

Real Talk, Sadness /

In December 2015, my grandfather passed away after several heart attacks and strokes in a short period. Even now, it’s hard for me to write about it because it’s a part of my life that still needs healing. My grandfather was someone special—a real “people person” who connected with everyone around him. If I had to describe him, I’d say he was a tough teddy bear. He had this strong exterior, but deep down, he was incredibly loving, especially as he got older. He adored his family and always wanted us close by. Some of my favourite memories with him revolve around food. I’ll never forget the lemon pepper chicken he made for one of our family gatherings. He also loved his smoked snoek, and I cherished watching him prepare it from scratch—carefully seasoning it and hanging it up to dry with such precision. Those simple moments are treasures now. When my mom called to tell me he had a stroke and was in the hospital, I didn’t panic. My grandfather was a fighter, and I convinced myself he would pull through, just like before. But even so, I needed to see him, just to make sure. When I walked into his hospital room, I was shocked. The man lying there didn’t look like the grandfather I knew. He was weak and couldn’t speak. The only way he could communicate was through noises. At first, I thought he must be in pain, but my step-grandmother explained that he made the most noise when he heard my brother’s and my names. That hit me hard—he knew we were there, even if he couldn’t tell us. Before I left, I said a prayer for him and whispered that I’d see him soon. A few weeks later, after visiting my mom, we were heading home late when my phone didn’t ring as it should have. My mom called my partner’s phone instead. I could tell something was wrong just by the tone of his voice. When I heard him say, “Okay, we’ll turn around and come back,” I knew—my grandfather was gone. We rushed to the hospital to be with the family, and the atmosphere was heavy with unspoken grief. No one said much, but we all tried to be strong, even though the pain was clear in our eyes. I didn’t want to believe it. I kept wishing for one last moment with him, one last chance to tell him how much he meant to all of us, how loved he was by so many. In the months and years that followed, I struggled with regret. Every year on the anniversary of his death, I felt a wave of guilt. I hated myself for not visiting him one more time, for assuming we had more time together. I took those moments for granted, and it haunted me. But deep down, I know my grandfather wouldn’t want me to carry that burden. He wasn’t the kind of person to dwell on negatives. I believe he’d want me to celebrate his life, not mourn his death—by doing good for others, just like he always did. Healing takes time, and I’m still working through it. But I carry my grandfather’s lessons with me: to cherish the time we have, to connect genuinely with others, and to find joy in the little things. That’s how he lived, and that’s how I want to honour him. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Constipation I Lost a Child and They Told Me to Be Grateful You’re Not A Loser, Social Media Just Sucks Are We Losing Something with Online Therapy? I Lost Myself Trying to Make Others Happy

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What’s Up With People Invalidating Our Feelings?

Anger, Sadness /

Sometimes I just want to crawl into a social distancing bunker and come out when everyone’s figured out how to validate each other’s feelings. Maybe your boss made a joke that felt more like a jab, or your partner dismissed your anxiety about an upcoming presentation with a casual, “Don’t sweat it.” Whatever the situation, someone just minimized your feelings with a classic, “It’s not a big deal,” and now you want to scream. It’s really not about overreacting when you actually feel like someone poured petrol on that flicker of frustration in your chest and lit a match. I remember walking into my therapist’s office and telling her I was quitting my job. I could barely stand to walk in the door anymore. Every day felt like a passive-aggressive environment, filled with dismissive comments. My manager, let’s call him Steve, was really condescending. Our team presented an idea to him, which he laughed about and said, “That won’t work”. It wasn’t the laugh itself, it was the way it made me feel – like our ideas, and hard work didn’t matter. Our feelings absolutely matter. This experience, like many others, made me realise the damaging effects of emotional invalidation. Emotional invalidation can chip away at our self-esteem over time. It can make it difficult to trust our own judgment and express emotions healthily. According to experts, this can stem from our childhood. There may have been a time when we excitedly shared a dream or a fear with someone, only to be met with a dismissive, “That’s silly” or a discouraging, “Don’t worry about it.” Over time, these messages can build up, leaving us feeling like our emotions aren’t important. But why do people invalidate our feelings in the first place? Here’s what experts say: The reasons don’t excuse the hurt, though. Our feelings, from our anxieties to our fears all deserve acknowledgement. Imagine telling your best friend their heartbreak is “no big deal” – unthinkable, right? So why do we tolerate it from others? Emotional invalidation can happen in many ways, not just with dismissive comments. Here are a few examples: By recognising these tactics, we can better understand when our feelings are being invalidated. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Struggling to Let Go of Grudges? Forgiveness: A Gift to Yourself – How Can I Forgive? Examples of Emotional Triggers Just Imagine Therapy Counselor Chelmsford I’m No Longer Okay With People Invalidating My Feelings: Now What?

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Orange Flags in a Relationship?

Loneliness, Sadness, Stressed /

Love is wonderful, but sometimes, rose-coloured glasses can obscure potential problems. While red flags scream “run for the hills,” orange flags are those subtle warning signs that something is not quite right in your relationship. Thankfully, experts say, these issues can often be addressed and resolved with open communication and effort. Here are some orange flags to watch for, along with insights from relationship experts: 1. Jealousy with a Side of Control Healthy relationships involve trust and respect. When a partner becomes excessively jealous or possessive, it can be a sign of insecurity and a desire to control you. Susan Vaughan, a licensed psychotherapist, says, “While a certain level of jealousy is normal, constant suspicion or attempts to limit your contact with friends and family are red flags.” Imagine feeling like you can’t see your friends without your partner starting a fight, or constantly being accused of flirting. This can take a toll on your mental well-being. 2. Isolating You from Your Support System Does your partner constantly put down your friends and family, subtly discouraging you from spending time with them? This could be an attempt to isolate you and make you more dependent on them. Dr. Lillian Glass, communication expert and author of “Toxic People,” emphasizes the importance of maintaining healthy relationships outside of your romantic partnership. She states, “A partner who tries to control who you see or talk to is exhibiting a red flag. Healthy relationships encourage strong connections with loved ones.” 3. Secrets and Lies (the Not-So-Cute Kind) Honesty and transparency are important for building trust in any relationship. If your partner keeps secrets, especially about finances or major life decisions, it can create suspicion and distance. Lindi, an abuse survivor says, “In a past relationship, I dated someone who seemed to want to control everything. We never discussed finances openly, and if I ever tried to ask questions about our spending or budgeting, I’d be met with vague answers or, guilt trips. He’d make me feel like I was being intrusive or asking for information I wasn’t entitled to”. 4. The Silent Treatment and Backhanded Comments Passive-aggressive behavior can be incredibly frustrating because it’s like a slow drip, constantly chipping away at your sense of security in the relationship. You might feel confused, wondering what you did wrong, or even gaslighted because your partner refuses to directly address the issue. This constant guessing game can damage open communication and create a wedge between you. 5. Always Blaming You for Their Mood Swings We are all responsible for managing our emotions. If your partner constantly blames you for their feelings of anger, sadness, or insecurity, it can be emotionally draining. According to Verywell Mind, a partner who can’t manage their emotions healthily might need to work on self-awareness and emotional regulation. Taking Action If you notice any of these orange flags in your relationship, don’t ignore them. Talk to your partner openly and honestly about your concerns. Consider using “I” statements, such as “I feel hurt when you…” Focus on open communication and be willing to listen to their perspective as well. Remember, a happy (and healthy) relationship requires effort from both partners. By addressing these orange flags early on, you can create a stronger, more fulfilling connection. If you’re struggling to communicate effectively, seeking professional help from a couples therapist can be helpful. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Openings Centre for Counselling & Psychotherapy Bath Dr WP de Beer – Specialist Surgeon Orange Grove Takealot’s Heritage Day Design Challenge is Back! Milpark Allergy Orange Grove Orange Roots Chiropractic Randburg

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What to Do (and Not Say) to Someone Who’s Feeling Down

Depressed, Sadness /

Have you ever noticed someone you care about withdraw or seem a little down? It can be tough to know what to say in those moments. While we naturally want to offer words of encouragement, sometimes finding the right thing to say can feel tricky. This article explores ways to communicate effectively with someone who’s feeling low and provides tips on what to do (and not say) to offer genuine support. Offer Empathy and Validation When someone is feeling down, one of the most powerful things we can do is simply listen and validate their feelings. Express empathy by acknowledging their emotions without judgment or trying to fix their problems. Phrases like, “I’m here for you,” “I understand why you’re feeling this way,” or “It’s okay to feel sad” can provide comfort and reassurance. Provide Practical Support Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. Offer practical support by asking how you can help or suggesting specific ways you can assist them. Whether it’s doing their grocery shopping, cooking them a meal, offering to babysit, or simply spending time together, showing up for someone in tangible ways can make a big difference in their mood and well-being. Focus on the Present Moment Encourage the person to focus on the present moment and engage in activities that bring them joy or provide a distraction from their sadness. Invite them to go for a walk, watch a funny movie, or engage in a hobby they enjoy. Remind them that it’s okay to take things one step at a time and that they don’t have to solve everything all at once. Actively Listen When we offer support, truly listening is key. This goes beyond simply staying silent and waiting for your turn to speak. Active listening involves paying close attention to what the person is saying, both verbally and nonverbally. Notice their body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Use open-ended questions to encourage them to share their feelings more deeply. Instead of questions with yes or no answers, try phrases like, “Can you tell me more about that?” or “What has been the hardest part about this?” Once they’ve shared, paraphrase what you’ve heard to show you’re understanding their experience. You could say something like, “It sounds like you’re feeling really overwhelmed right now,” or “I can see why this situation would be frustrating.” This demonstrates that you’re engaged in the conversation and actively trying to understand their perspective. Avoid Minimising or Dismissing Their Feelings While our intentions may be good, certain phrases can come across as dismissive or minimising of someone’s feelings. Avoid saying things like, “Cheer up,” “It could be worse,” or “Don’t be so negative.” Instead, validate their experience and offer support without judgment. Don’t Offer Unsolicited Advice Try not to offer unsolicited advice or to fix the person’s problems. While you may have good intentions, offering solutions without being asked can make the person feel unheard or invalidated. Instead, focus on listening actively and offering support in whatever way they need. Encourage Professional Help If someone’s low mood persists, it might be a sign of something more serious, like depression. Gently encourage them to reach out to a mental health professional for additional support. You could use phrases like: “Would you be open to talking to a therapist?” or “There are some great resources available if you’d like to consider professional support.” By following these tips, you can be a strong support system for someone who’s feeling down. Remember, sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is simply be there for them. Listen actively, offer practical help when possible, and let them know you care. Even small gestures can make a big difference during difficult times. And lastly, don’t forget to take care of yourself too – you can’t pour from an empty cup! Encouraging Words: Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Living with the Wind of the Bullet Fertility Solutions Fertility clinic Retreat Can People with Autism Live Independently? The 5 Most Common Mental Health Conditions Music: The Language My Soul Understands

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The “Should I Be Worried?” Feeling: Depression Warning Signs

2 Comments / Depressed, Depression, Health Conditions, Sadness /

You used to devour those trashy romance novels in a weekend, but now even starting one feels like a chore. Or maybe that gym membership you were so excited about now collects dust while you binge reruns of Friends (again). Could this funk – the one that’s been clinging to you like a stubborn cold – be more than just a bad week? Depression doesn’t always announce itself. Sometimes, it creeps in subtly. Like a weight dragging you down.  Here are some red flags to watch out for: Remember, everyone experiences depression differently. These symptoms can sometimes feel pretty normal. But if these experiences are becoming your new normal, sticking around longer than it should, and making it hard to function for at least two weeks, then it could be a sign of depression. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Causes for Black Eye and When to Worry Symptoms and Warning Signs of Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia Recognising the Warning Signs and Symptoms of Suicide Symptoms and Early Warning Signs of ARDS Symptoms and Warning Signs of Adenomyosis

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