Mental Matters

Author name: Staff Writer

How to Talk to Your Kids About Mental Health

Explainers, Tools /

Did you know, a 2022 U-Report South Africa poll found that 73% of children and young people felt they needed mental health support? And the World Health Organisation estimates that 1 in 5 children and adolescents in the world are struggling with their mental health. Therefore, talking to our kids about mental health cannot be stressed enough. As adults, we play an important role in helping kids understand their emotions, and handle stress. Talking to them about mental health at an early age can help them to develop healthy coping skills and build resilience. So, how can we, as parents, caregivers, and educators, start talking to our kids about mental health in a way that they can understand? 1. Start with Age-Appropriate Conversations What’s appropriate for a 5-year-old is very different from what’s appropriate for a 15-year-old. Use language and concepts that are tailored to your child’s age and developmental level. And check in with them throughout the conversation to see how they’re feeling. For example, if you’re talking to a young child, you might start by talking about how everyone feels different emotions sometimes. Help them identify and label their emotions, such as happy, sad, angry, and scared. Explain that it’s okay to feel all sorts of emotions, and that there are healthy ways to cope with them. If you’re talking to an older child, you might discuss more specific mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression. Talk about the symptoms of these conditions, how they can affect people’s lives, and the importance of seeking help if needed. Here are some specific examples of age-appropriate topics and conversations: 2. Be a Good Listener When your child talks to you about their mental health, really listen to what they have to say. Don’t judge them, offer solutions, or fix their problems. Just listen and offer your support. For example, if they say, “I’m feeling really anxious about my upcoming test,” you could say something like, “So it sounds like you’re feeling anxious about your test. Is that right?” This shows them that you’re paying attention and that you understand what they’re going through. 3. Use Everyday Opportunities Mental health topics can come up in everyday life. If you’re watching a movie or reading a book together, talk about the emotions the characters are experiencing. Or, if your child is struggling with something, talk about how you’ve dealt with similar challenges in your own life. Using everyday opportunities to talk about mental health can help to normalize the conversation and make it feel less scary for your child. 4. Encourage Help-Seeking Behaviour Let your child know that it’s okay to ask for help when it comes to their mental health. You can compile a list of resources, books, and tools they could use. More importantly, encourage them to speak to a trusted adult or a professional. You could tell your child that if they’re ever feeling overwhelmed or like they can’t cope, they can always come to you for help. And you can also give them the phone number of a trusted adult or a mental health professional. It’s important to emphasise that asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, it is courageous. 5. Educate Yourself About Mental Health The more you know about mental health, the better equipped you’ll be to talk to your kids about it. There are many resources available to help you learn more about mental health conditions, such as books, podcasts, websites, and online courses. Educating yourself about mental health will help you to understand what your child is going through and to provide them with the support they need. 6. Share Your Own Experiences If you have struggled with your own mental health in the past, talk to your kids about it. Share your story in an honest and age-appropriate way. This will help your kids understand that they are not alone, and that it is okay to ask for help. Here is an example of how you could share your own experience with them: “When I was your age, I used to get really anxious about tests. I would feel so nervous and worried that I couldn’t sleep the night before. But over time, I learned some coping skills that helped me to manage my anxiety. I want to teach you those coping skills so that you can manage your anxiety too.” Sharing your own experiences can help to build trust and communication with your child. It can also help them to feel more comfortable talking to you about their own mental health. Creating a safe and supportive space for your child to talk about their mental health is one of the best things you can do for them. It can help them to feel understood, supported, and less alone. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Different Types of Behavioural Therapies Why Talking to Your Kids About Mental Health Matters Kids at Heart Inc. Paediatric Cardiologist Bloemfontein Change Talk Psychotherapist Cardiff Talk Therapy Service Counselling & Psychotherapy Worcester

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why do people hide their depression?

Why Do People Hide Their Depression?

Depression /

Exploring the Question “Why Do People Hide Their Depression?” In a society that often discourages openly talking about feelings and emotions, people choose to hide their depression. They put up a pretense and hide behind a smile, hoping that one day things will get better. But for many, that day never comes. Eventually, they end up realising that the image they project to the world doesn’t match the internal struggles they fight. By taking a closer look at why people hide their depression and understanding these reasons, we can challenge society’s norms that make mental health problems seem shameful. And it allows us to show more kindness and empathy to those struggling. Here are some reasons why people find it easier to hide their depression than to be open about it. Unveiling the Veil – Why Do People Hide Their Depression? Fear of being Judged and Misunderstood The fear of being judged and misunderstood can be overwhelming. Imagine getting judged for something you never asked to struggle with. To avoid such scrutiny, many choose not to make their struggles with depression known. Unfortunately, there is still a lingering stigma surrounding mental health, and far too many people wrongly perceive depression as a sign of weakness or personal failure. Not Wanting to be a Burden We all have our own personal struggles to contend with. People with depression often feel guilty about adding their problems to someone else’s plate or causing any inconvenience. They see keeping their struggles hidden as a way to protect others from the weight of their issues and believe it’s a selfless choice to spare them from additional burdens. Shame and Guilt: A big reason why people hide their depression Shame and guilt play a significant role in why people choose to hide their depression. They often blame themselves, constantly replaying scenarios of “what if,” “should’ve,” and “could’ve.” They carry a self-imposed stigma, believing they should be able to overcome their depression on their own without seeking help. This self-blame and stigma prevent them from opening up about their feelings and reaching out for support, which perpetuates a cycle of isolation and emotional distress. The Influence of Culture and Society Cultural norms and society’s expectations can shape how we view mental health. In some cultures, there’s a strong emphasis on appearing strong and resilient, which can make it difficult for people to talk about what they are going through. What’s more, society often reinforces negative stereotypes and misunderstandings about depression. People fear judgment, rejection, or being treated differently if they honestly discuss their condition. Fear of Negative Consequences People hide their depression because they are afraid of what might happen. They worry that opening up about their mental health will lead to problems. They carry a heavy burden of fearing that others may see them as weak, unreliable, or incapable. To protect themselves, and their chances of success, they act like everything is fine. This often leaves them feeling isolated and alone in their struggles. The Desire to Maintain a Positive Image In an effort to maintain a positive image, and to protect themselves, they keep their struggles to themselves. They don’t want others to see them as weak, or to treat them differently. And they worry that their emotional pain will affect their personal and professional relationships negatively. Conclusion The decision to hide one’s depression is a complex and deeply personal choice. However, we shouldn’t judge people for their struggles. Instead, we should strive to be understanding, supportive, and empathetic toward those dealing with depression. Saying that people are not alone in their struggles is important, but showing up for them is just as important. We need to actively engage in open conversations, raise awareness, and educate ourselves and others about depression. We must make a conscious effort to hear everyone, support them, and treat them with empathy. When you’re ready to move out of the shadows and face your depression, this article will guide you. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform for mental health and wellness. We provide information and resources that can help you learn about mental health, manage your mental health, and find support. However, we do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any questions or concerns about your mental health, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. The Questions I Ask Myself to Stay Connected Dr Donna Brown Allergy Testing Bath Strong Relationships Start with Questions Underrated Books on Trauma That Deserve More Attention Reasons and Indications for Amniocentesis

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The Best and Worst Mental Health Tips People Received

1 Comment / Real Talk /

In a world where everyone has an opinion, it’s important to separate the helpful from the unhelpful. Here, nine people share the advice that made a difference in their mental health journey, as well as the advice that, well, didn’t. Best Advice: 1. “Don’t make decisions when you’re tired.” It’s tempting to tick things off the list, but when you’re exhausted, your judgement isn’t at its best. Giving yourself time to rest can lead to clearer, more thoughtful decisions. 2. “Sit down with your inner child.” This might sound a bit whimsical, but reconnecting with your younger self can be enlightening. It’s about understanding past emotions and offering yourself the compassion you needed back then. 3. “You can’t control the actions of others.” A tough pill to swallow, but a freeing one. Letting go of the need to manage others’ behaviours allows you to focus on your own responses and well-being. 4. “The validation you’re looking for from others is the validation you are refusing to give to yourself.” Seeking approval externally can be a never-ending chase. This advice encourages you to recognise your own worth and give yourself the credit you deserve. 5. “If you need me, I am here.” Sometimes, the simplest words offer the most comfort. Knowing someone is genuinely there for you can make all the difference. Worst Advice: 1. “Just push through it.” While perseverance has its place, ignoring your limits can lead to burnout. It’s okay to pause and take care of yourself. 2. “You need to pray about it.” Faith can be a source of strength for many, but suggesting it as a catch-all solution might overlook the need for practical support or professional help. 3. “Try not to think about it.” If only it were that easy! Suppressing thoughts often makes them louder. Acknowledging and addressing feelings is a healthier approach. 4. “Go walk around the block.” Fresh air is lovely, but it’s not a cure-all. Sometimes, deeper issues require more than a brief stroll to address. Hopefully, these snippets of advice resonate with you, offering comfort or a gentle reminder of what to embrace and what to take with a pinch of salt on your mental health journey. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. General Practitioner Johannesburg Anaesthesiologist Berea Practical Tips for Managing Social Anxiety in Everyday Situations Time Flies When You Have ADHD: Practical Tips for Better Time Management Tips for Effective Journaling

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I’ve Struggled with Depression for Over 20 Years

1 Comment / Real Talk /

This story is from a community member, edited for clarity and to protect privacy Winston has been dealing with depression for over 20 years now—probably since he was around 17 (he’s 48 now). Growing up, his household was a mess. His father was an alcoholic and abusive, which left deep scars. Winston craved his father’s attention, but no matter what he did, it was never enough. There were times when he even wondered if it was his fault that his father was the way he was. He questioned if something was wrong with him, if he was somehow responsible for his father’s anger and drinking. As a child, Winston turned to food for comfort. He was overweight, and the other kids called him “Flubber.” That nickname hurt more than he can put into words. It wasn’t just something they said—it was a reminder that he didn’t fit in, that he wasn’t good enough. It crushed any bit of confidence he had and made him feel horrible about himself. But Winston did manage to lose the weight—not that he turned into some muscle-bound guy, but he got healthier. He worked on himself and made some improvements. Still, those dark thoughts never really go away. There are days when he feels empty, when the self-hate creeps in, and he looks in the mirror and still sees that child everyone called “Flubber.” He’s built what you’d call a normal life. He has a regular job and lives a regular life. He even manages to have fun now and then, and sometimes, it feels like he’s got a bit of a life going. But the depression is always there, waiting to pull him down again. He knows his depression might never fully go away, but he tries to make the most of things, especially for his younger brother. His brother is one of the main reasons he keeps going, even when it’s tough. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Dr Geoffrey Christopher Winston George – Psychiatrist – Kenilworth Clinical Depression in Adults What Is the Difference Between Anxiety and Depression? Clinical Psychologist Sandton Working With – Not Against – My Depression

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What Happens When You Start Speaking Kindly to Yourself?

Real Talk, Resources /

Growing up in a strict home with a housewife mother and a site manager father, my childhood was filled with structure and routine. My dad was not just a manager by day; he was also a prominent figure at church. We spent a lot of time around the older generation there, and while it sometimes felt overwhelming, it’s a part of my upbringing I cherish deeply. One particular auntie stands out in my memory. She had a way of making every encounter feel special. “Come sit, child,” she’d say, her voice soothing and warm. She always wore her hair in a neat bun, secured with bobby pins, and her brown lipstick and the faint scent of pine from her perfume made her presence memorable. It wasn’t just her appearance that left an impression; it was her wisdom. She’d sit us down and share her insights, always emphasising the importance of speaking kindly to ourselves. Here’s why it matters so much to me: 1. It Boosts My Confidence When I tell myself I’m capable and worthy, I feel more confident. Positive self-talk helps me focus on my strengths rather than my weaknesses, giving me a daily dose of encouragement that builds my self-belief. 2. It Helps Me Handle Stress Better Facing challenges with a positive mindset makes them feel less overwhelming. By reassuring myself that I can handle whatever comes my way, I find that stress becomes more manageable. 3. It Builds My Resilience Positive self-talk helps me stay strong during tough times. Rather than letting setbacks knock me down, I use hope and optimism to keep moving forward, even when things get difficult. 4. It Improves My Mood Constant self-criticism can bring me down. Shifting to positive affirmations lifts my spirits and helps me see the good in life. A bit of kindness towards myself can brighten my outlook and change my perspective. 5. It Enhances My Relationships When I’m kind to myself, I often find it easier to be kind to others. Positive self-talk helps me feel better about who I am, which can improve my interactions and relationships with those around me 6. It Encourages My Personal Growth Believing in myself is the first step towards growth. Positive self-talk keeps me motivated and open to new opportunities, supporting my journey towards achieving my goals. Reflecting on the wisdom from my childhood and the lessons learned, I realise that the way we talk to ourselves matters deeply. It shapes our lives and helps us handle both the ordinary and the extraordinary moments. It’s a conversation worth having—one that deserves to be filled with kindness, encouragement, and hope. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Body Boost Clinic Medical center Hull Diagnosing Autism: How and When It’s Done Positive Relationships Counselor Birmingham Positive Steps Physiotherapy Stoke-on-Trent What Panic Attacks Feel Like

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Feeling Stressed? 5-Minute Anxiety Relief Techniques You Can Do Anywhere

Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Feelings & Behaviours, Health Conditions, Stressed /

Anxiety can strike at any time, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and out of control. But what if you could find relief in just 5 minutes, no matter where you are? The good news is, you can! Here are 3 powerful anxiety relief techniques you can easily incorporate into your daily routine: 1. Deep Breathing: Your Built-in Calming Switch Have you ever noticed your breath quicken when you’re feeling anxious? That’s your body’s natural fight-or-flight response kicking in. Deep breathing can be your secret weapon to counter that. Here’s why: How to Do It: 2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Melt Away Tension Anxiety often manifests as physical tension in your body. Progressive muscle relaxation helps combat this by bringing your awareness to specific muscle groups and releasing built-up tension. Mind-Body Connection: This technique works by creating a mind-body connection. As you focus on tensing and relaxing different muscle groups, your mind becomes distracted from anxious thoughts, and the physical release of tension promotes a sense of calm. How to Do It: 3. Mindfulness Meditation: Train Your Focus Our minds are naturally prone to wandering, often fixating on worries and anxieties. Mindfulness meditation helps train your brain to focus on the present moment, detaching from anxious thoughts and worries. Breaking Free from the Cycle: By focusing on your breath and gently redirecting your attention back to the present moment when your mind wanders, you learn to observe your thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them. This disrupts the cycle of anxious rumination. How to Do It: Bonus Tip: Engage Your Senses! Feeling overwhelmed? Sometimes, simply engaging your five senses can help ground you in the present moment. Take a moment to name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can smell, 2 things you can hear, and 1 thing you can taste. Remember: Consistency is key! Regularly practicing these techniques, even when you’re not feeling anxious, strengthens their effectiveness so you’re prepared to help ease anxiety when it pops up. Do you have any favourite techniques for managing anxiety? Share them with us. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Hitting Your Limit? It Might Be Time for a Break Mindful Breathing, What’s That? Which Attachment Style Are You? Feeling Lonely? Healthy Ways to Cope with Loneliness Feeling Lonely? Healthy Ways to Cope with Loneliness

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There’s Happiness to be Found in Everyday Moments (Seriously!)

Feelings & Behaviours, Happiness /

Funny thing about happiness – we often chase it in the future, attached to some big accomplishment or life-changing event. Life can get busy, and sometimes we zoom right past the good stuff. We rush from one deadline to the next, one dream to another, constantly in a state of “almost there.” But what if the key to happiness is slowing down and appreciating the little moments that make up our days? Don’t get me wrong, chasing big goals is important. It gives us something to strive for, keeps us motivated. But sometimes, we get so laser-focused on the finish line, we miss the beautiful scenery along the way. Confession time: for the longest time, I subscribed to this whole “happiness-is-out-there” philosophy. I pictured it as a giant gold star, awarded only once I’d reached some major life achievement. Think being a perfect mom (whoever they are!), landing my dream job, or maybe even achieving some travel goals. But something shifted.  Maybe it was the third trip to the grocery store in a week. Each time, I walked in with a list and good intentions, only to find myself daydreaming about finally cracking open that self-help book I’d been meaning to read for months – you know, the one titled “12 Rules for Life” (sound familiar?). Suddenly, the aisles of canned foods transformed into a reading nook. By the time I snapped back to reality, my trolley had little groceries and a surprising number of brightly colored highlighters (hey, gotta mark all those important life lessons, right?).  Initially, I was a little annoyed with myself. Another trip to the store with little to show for it! But then, I just laughed it off. Here I was, with highlighter markers instead of milk, and it felt…okay.  In those moments, the “giant gold star” of future happiness seemed to lose its shine. Whatever it was, it hit me: I was missing out. I was so busy waiting for some future “happiness” that I wasn’t enjoying the present, even the slightly chaotic moments. Now, I genuinely enjoy the simple things: being able to go outside and watch the sunrise. The laughter (sometimes even the meltdowns!) with my kids at bedtime, and the quiet satisfaction of curling up with a good book at the end of a long day. What about you? Take a moment to reflect on the little joys in your everyday life. You might be surprised by the happiness already within reach. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Happiness in Mind Ltd Manchester 7 Underrated Books for Your Self-Improvement Bookshelf The “Mustard Seed Moments” We All Miss (But Shouldn’t!) Practical Tips for Managing Social Anxiety in Everyday Situations The Bristol Therapist Bristol

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My Parents’ Divorce Inspired Me to Communicate Better in My Marriage

Real Talk /

My parents were married for 26 years, and I was just four when they divorced. Apart from the time my mom sat me down to explain that my dad was moving to a new house and that I’d get to visit him, no one really talked about it, and I never bothered to ask. Out of all the kids, it affected me the least. My siblings, however, took it much harder, especially my sister, who had always been my dad’s little princess, while I was his pumpkin. As I got older, I couldn’t help but wonder why my parents had divorced, but no one seemed eager to have those conversations. One day, I finally asked my mom. Her answer caught me off guard: “I just couldn’t keep up with your dad’s career anymore.” That wasn’t the first reason that would’ve come to mind. My dad worked hard, sure, but I also remembered him being there—putting me to bed, flying me around like an aeroplane, dressing up as a superhero for my daddy-daughter tea, and spending Christmases together. Despite his demanding job, he was still very present in my life. But my mom’s words left a lasting impression. They made me realise that sometimes, the reasons behind life’s biggest events are far more complex than they seem. It wasn’t just about being physically present; it was about emotional presence, communication, and understanding each other’s needs. When I entered my own marriage, I carried this lesson with me. I knew that communication had to be a priority if I wanted to avoid the same fate as my parents. Whenever my husband and I faced challenges, I made a conscious effort to talk things through. I’d share my feelings, and listen to his. I didn’t want work, stress, or life’s demands to create distance between us. My parents’ divorce taught me the importance of communication in a relationship. It inspired me to be proactive in my own marriage, to ensure that both my husband and I felt heard, valued, and connected. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Inspire Wellbeing Services Mental health service Chelmsford Chrismarie Moolman Play Therapist Fichardt Park Don’t Be a Pushover (But Don’t Be a Jerk Either!) Dr ST Potgieter Psychologist Bellville Good Relationships (Marriage & Couples Therapy) Bath

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Beyond “Get Your Shit Together”: Why Amy Morin’s Advice Works

Books & Apps /

Amy Morin’s “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” can feel a bit like a tough-love. “Stop dwelling on the past!” “Don’t waste energy on things you can’t control!” It’s easy to raise an eyebrow and think, “Yeah, thanks, Amy, but getting my life together isn’t quite that simple.” But while the book might feel like a no-nonsense list of instructions to “get your shit together,” there’s actually real value in its straightforward approach. Here’s what I liked about Amy’s tough-love approach in the book: Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Dr Amy Gately GP Bath Amy Morgan Physiotherapy Randburg Dr Amy Pearce Woman Practice Claremont Amy Jenkins Massage Therapist Newpor Dr Amy Bradbury GP Doncaster

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Why My Dog Is the Best Anxiety Relief I Never Expected

Anxiety, Feelings & Behaviours, Real Talk /

This story is from a community member, edited for clarity and to protect privacy Richard had battled anxiety for as long as he could remember, but it really hit him hard in his 30s. The excitement of partying had worn off, and he found himself feeling lost and questioning his life’s direction. So, he reached out to his therapist for some guidance. During one session, his therapist casually suggested, “Why not get a dog? It might give you a sense of purpose.” Richard, being the impulsive type, thought, “Why not?” A week later, he couldn’t contain his excitement and told his therapist, “Guess what—I got a dog!” The shock on her face was almost as surprising as his own excitement. Of all the impulsive decisions Richard had made, getting a dog turned out to be one of the best. The initial days were a breeze, but then Minnie’s true personality started to show. She was surprisingly demanding—she had to have her water bowl in just the right spot and was very particular about her food. Adjusting to these quirks was a bit of a struggle. But as Richard and Minnie spent more time together, he started to see how much she was helping him with his anxiety. Despite her little demands, Minnie brought a huge amount of love and companionship into Richard’s life. Just having her around made him feel less alone and more at ease. Minnie’s needs brought a new sense of routine to Richard’s life. With her feeding schedule, daily walks, and playtime, he found himself getting more organised. This new structure didn’t just help manage his time better—it also gave him more control over his anxiety. The walks with Minnie became a calming ritual. They allowed Richard to step away from life’s stresses and appreciate the simple joys. Watching Minnie’s playful antics reminded him to enjoy the moment and find happiness in the little things. Minnie also helped Richard connect with others. He started chatting with fellow dog owners at the park, something he hadn’t done before. Although Minnie was a bit possessive and preferred Richard’s undivided attention, she had a way of making social interactions easier. Richard soon realised that Minnie seemed to have an uncanny ability to sense when he was anxious. Her presence was comforting, as if she could understand his feelings without him having to say a word. Grateful for the positive impact Minnie had on his life, Richard found that even small moments like petting or cuddling her brought significant relief from stress. Minnie’s companionship helped him through tough times and added joy to his life. If you’re thinking about whether a dog might help with anxiety, Richard hopes his experience encourages you. Opening your heart and home to a pet could be the start of a wonderful journey. Please remember: While a pet can provide comfort, companionship, and support, they are not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Always consult with a healthcare provider for guidance on managing anxiety and mental health concerns. Mental Matters is a resource and information platform. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the information on our website is for general awareness and support, it should not replace professional advice. For any mental health concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional. Brooklyn Family Therapy Centre Pretoria Sandra Terblanche Clinical Psychologist Hospitalpaark Joy Clarke Marriage Counsellor Edgemead Joy Clarke Marriage Counsellor Edgemead Hear Joy – Jenine Pretorius Audiology Benoni

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