Mental Matters

Life Stages & Situations

Hand holding an ultrasound image of a foetus

What is Hydrops Fetalis?

When you’re handed the word “hydrops,” it doesn’t come with a handbook. Most people have never even heard of it. Even fewer know what it means. I hadn’t. Not until one of my babies was diagnosed with it. And even then, I had to piece the information together between scans, quiet nods from doctors, and Google searches at 2 a.m. This is the article I wish someone had handed me. So, what is hydrops fetalis? Hydrops fetalis (or simply “hydrops”) is a rare and serious condition that occurs when an abnormal amount of fluid builds up in at least two areas of a baby’s body. These areas may include the skin, lungs, abdomen, or around the heart. The fluid buildup can put pressure on the baby’s organs, making it hard for them to work properly. There are two types of hydrops fetalis: In my case, they couldn’t say what caused it. One twin was growing normally. The other had fluid surrounding his organs. They used terms like high risk, no survival rate, and nature will take its course. 👉 I Lost a Child and They Told Me to Be Grateful Hydrops fetalis is usually diagnosed through an ultrasound, where fluid pockets are detected in the baby’s body. Depending on the cause, it can be life-threatening, and in many cases, the prognosis is poor. Early diagnosis and management depend heavily on the underlying cause. Treatment options may include interventions during pregnancy or preparations for intensive care after birth, but often, especially in severe cases, there’s very little that can be done. What they don’t always tell you Doctors try to be kind and factual, but there’s so much you might not hear in consultations. Things like: The uncertainty can be agonising. You’re forced to live week to week—sometimes day to day—waiting, hoping, fearing. You’ll likely hear the medical facts, but the emotional toll and all the grey areas in between are harder to speak about. Having someone explain those gaps, or even acknowledge them, can make you feel a little more human in a deeply clinical process. Why we should be talking about it Hydrops fetalis is rare, but silence makes it feel even rarer. Many people never speak about it. There’s often loss involved, or complicated pregnancies. There’s fear, grief, confusion—and sometimes shame. But by talking about it, we make space for others to find understanding, connection, and support. Parents deserve to know they’re not alone. Even in the hardest, most uncertain pregnancies. Sharing stories and facts won’t take away the pain, but it might offer comfort. Reviewed April 2025. Always consult a professional for individual guidance.

What is Hydrops Fetalis? Read More »

Small white baby shoes on a person's lap

I Lost a Child and They Told Me to Be Grateful

“Loss is part of life.” I have to admit, those words never sat well with me. Not because I don’t believe them—but because they felt like they rushed me through something I wasn’t ready to face. They seemed to suggest that grief has a timetable. That if I just remembered what I still had, I’d be fine. But nothing could have prepared me for the loss of a second child. And the pain that would follow. The shock of expecting twins I was familiar with loss before this. But this felt so different. And I never expected the pregnancy of my second-born to become part of my grief story. At first, it was the shock of falling pregnant again—unexpected, yes, but something I could come to terms with. Then came the next surprise: twins. I had barely wrapped my head around that news when I heard the words no expecting mother ever wants to hear: “It doesn’t look like the one baby will make it.” I went numb. I heard the doctor speaking, but it felt like I was floating outside my body. Half listening. Half in disbelief. So many questions, no real answers What is a hydrops baby?You’re saying he might make it to term… then what?How do I know the other twin will be okay?What does “high risk” in this case actually mean?Will I have to go through another c-section—after the trauma of my last one? I had a hundred questions and no energy to ask any of them. I just listened. Quietly panicked. Here’s what I was told: Each appointment filled me with dread. I’d hold my breath, wondering if today would be the day they told me his heart had stopped. The grief you can’t talk about At 16 weeks, I lost my baby. I felt a strange mix of sadness and relief. Relief that his little body wouldn’t have to fight anymore. But sadness that I never got to meet him. Never got to know who he would be. People tried to comfort me with reminders that I still had one healthy baby growing inside me. That I had a toddler at home who needed me. That I had reasons to stay strong, and to be grateful. They meant well—but those words didn’t help. Because even though I still had children to love, I had lost one. And it felt like there wasn’t room to talk about that grief. Like I wasn’t allowed to mourn in my own way, in my own time. So, I buried it. Tucked it away in the quiet corners of my story. It’s taken time—and courage—to write this down. I used to think that talking about it would make people uncomfortable. That it might sound ungrateful, because I still had a baby to hold. But now I know this: I lost my baby at 16 weeks. And that loss matters—even if I never got to bring him home. To anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss, or the complicated emotions of a high-risk pregnancy: you are allowed to grieve. You are allowed to feel everything, even if others don’t fully understand. Reviewed April 2025. Always consult a professional for individual guidance.

I Lost a Child and They Told Me to Be Grateful Read More »

South Africa's Teenage Pregnancy Challenge

South Africa’s Teenage Pregnancy Challenge

Study on Teenage Pregnancy in South Africa: What the Report Reveals and Recommends South Africa’s Department of Social Development (DSD) evaluated how current policies and programmes address teenage pregnancy. The study uncovered key challenges, highlighted regional differences, and outlined clear recommendations to reduce teenage pregnancy and better support young people Regional differences and causes The study revealed that teenage pregnancy rates are highest in KwaZulu-Natal (18.1%) and Limpopo (17.4%). Mpumalanga (17.0%), Eastern Cape (16.8%), and North-West (16.0%) also show significantly high rates. Several factors contribute to these numbers: Key recommendations from the study National and provincial departments—including the Department of Social Development (DSD), Department of Health (DOH), and Department of Basic Education (DBE)—must clearly define their roles. Provincial governments and municipalities need to activate coordination forums within the next 6 to 12 months. DSD, DOH, DBE, and Statistics South Africa (Stats SA) must integrate information systems and start reporting regularly on teenage pregnancy indicators within 12 to 18 months to ensure better tracking and informed planning. DSD, the National Youth Development Agency (NYDA), and youth-focused civil society organisations (CSOs) must lead regular youth consultations to ensure programmes align with the actual needs of young people. DBE, DSD, and NGOs must scale up prevention programmes in schools and communities within the next 6 to 12 months to encourage healthier choices. SAPS, the Department of Justice (DOJ), DSD, and community structures must step up the enforcement of laws protecting girls aged 10 to 14. DSD, DOH, DBE, and local governments must adopt GIS tools within 12 months to plan services and allocate resources more effectively. Sector-specific actions This study outlines a clear, actionable roadmap for addressing South Africa’s teenage pregnancy challenge. By focusing on coordination, data, youth involvement, and improved services, the country can create real change. And, support a healthier, brighter future for its young people. Study: Diagnostic Evaluation of the Government’s Response to Teenage Pregnancy in South Africa (Final Report 2025) Reviewed April 2025. Always consult a professional for individual guidance.

South Africa’s Teenage Pregnancy Challenge Read More »

Scroll to Top